Chicago will never be cold again! The mercury reached 72 degrees today, some 35 degrees above the normal high temperature. We're in a New Era in which it will never be cold again.

Yes, I know it snowed a foot just a week ago. Yes, there were a few nights of subzero temperatures this winter. Yes, most winters in the past were much colder than this winter. But you fail to realize that it's different this time. Just look at global patterns, like the jet stream configuration, the upper atmospheric ridge across the United States, and the low pressure in the North Atlantic. The eradication of the snow cover across the United States and even some neighboring parts of Canada mean that it's harder for cold air to accumulate or to move south without being modified by the warming effects of sunlight on non-snow covered ground.

It's a New Era folks! Sure, Chicago may become cold enough for a few snow flurries on Sunday morning, but winter weather has changed PERMANENTLY. Just look at the 5-day forecast: temperatures will be in the 50s for most of the next week, even though the normal high will struggle to reach 40 degrees. Just wait until next winter. The average high temperature next winter will be 60 degrees. We'll see 70-degree weather not only in February, but in December and January as well. We'll even get in a few 80-degree days and one 90-degree day next winter. And it will remain warm like this every winter until the End of Time.

So throw away those snowblowers, snowmobiles, and other winter supplies!

I challenge all of you to explain why the above reasoning differs from the New Era of Permanently High and Rising Stock Prices.