No. of Recommendations: 6
Its hard to explain a whole marriage all at once. I know there would be many questions.

I have been a stay at home mom for 4 years. We agreed on this from the beginning. My mother and 5 aunts were all stay at home moms and that is the life I wanted for my kids. I am NOT saying it is wrong for mothers to work. Most of my friends do it and their kids are doing great. Personally FOR ME I could not drop my 3 month old off a someone elses house and expect him to get the same care I am giving him at home. exactly why I feel it is best for my kids that my husband and I don't get divirced. I was pretty mad so my post was worded strongly. I am not going to give up that easy and end my marriage. If we do however not have a roof or vehicle because he is being a moron then yes I will leave because my mother can take better care of us than him. And that will be his fault and choice to the end of our marriage. I promised to stick by him through good and bad, but when it is INTENTIONALLY bad then all promises are out the window. He promised to take care of us and do whats best for us. Buying a 4 wheeler and steaks and the other million things he buys when we are a family of 4 living on $25,000 is CRAP.

I don't see it as emothinal abuse. I do have brief panic attacks from all the pressure, but thats life.

IMPOLITE has said things wonderfully. He is denying my family basic needs to live. I know in that being a stay at home mom that I would have to give up a lot. I don't want a fancy car, or huge house, or fancy vacations and tons of crap. I am happy to garden and scrimp and save and spend most weekends at home with my kids. I love it. All I want is a decent roof over our heads, a car that gets me from A to B, and my children at home with me as much as possible. And I have given up everything. i don't have new clothes, I never get my hair cut, I eat PB and J for lunch everyday. I don't get pedicures and my nails done, I never get a single thing for my bday or xmas or mothers day. I don't ask for much....... him to go work and pay our bills and help with finances and do whats best for his kids. thats it.

If I had to get a job because we were doing the best we could and that still wasn't enough then that would be fine. But I am not going to reward his crappy behavior by digging us out of a hole he made. I have been working on that hole alone for 2 years now. I have babysat and had yard sales and worked at consignment sales and sold everything I own on ebay. I have done plenty to not only raise the kids, take care of the pets and house, and do the finances alone, but have also brought in an extra $100-$200 per month. I am doing all the trying. I refuse to get a job to help out his debt. He can get a second one and dig us out. If he won't then thats his problem and I will leave and get a job and do it on my own. But I feel he will get exactly what he wants if I go to work now. We do have a savings act. that he doesn't know about it. And thats not because I hid it, its because he won't help with the finances and he has never asked. He cwouldn't know where or when or how much to pay our mortgage right now. Thats how involved hes been.

Thanks for all the support and info. I am going to turn the finances over to him and he can see what it all takes. I will let him know up front that if he screws it up and we don't have a vehicle or house that I am gone.
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