I've actually picked a few that I'm sorta proud of: ...This is a phrase in the same class as "I'm going to take a flyer." It's a signal that the person who uttered it is going to have a gruesome failure.But at least with your original question you realize that there's a lot that you don't know.Brokers: Just2Trade, Optionshouse (but get the account open quick, their commission is going up soon). I have accounts at both, and have relatives that I had open their account at both. Never had a problem with either of them.My number 1 piece of advice for a newbie is read this paper and start with this method. FundAdvice.com: "The ultimate buy-and-hold strategy"http://www.fundadvice.com/articles/buy-hold/the-ultimate-buy...http://www.merriman.com/bestofmerriman/ultimatebuyandholdstr... They keep changing the link, so you might have to search for the current version.