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Author: RainyDayWoman Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 578  
Subject: Re: advice for new widow? Date: 12/29/2010 7:34 PM
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I've been thinking for a couple of days about a response to this. It's hard to know where to begin.

First off, grieving has no time table, and I often get aggravated hearing tv folks talk about people needing to "move on" after a few days or weeks after a loss. So don't let others bully her into thinking she "must" get rid of his stuff right away, or she "must" stop talking about him, or any such nonsense.

I found that friends, relatives and coworkers were wonderfully supportive at first, but in the end had a limited attention span for my grief. That's when the listening ears, support, and advice of other folks who understand about grief is so helpful. If she needs to talk, many communities have widowed persons groups that can be really helpful. I went to meetings in my community for a year or so, and went to their annual "getting through the holidays" meeting (hosted by the local hospice organization) for three years. There are also a number of online support groups, if she feels more comfortable with that. She might find comfort in looking online and reading past messages, like the ones here.

Some folks need financial advice or assistance, or help with their home or car or will or getting meals on the table or even someone who will order them to get out of their pj's and out of their bed....

It's a hard road with many ups and downs along the way, and it's sometimes hard to ask for help. Having a loving and supporting sister standing by to help as needed will be a great help to her.

My condolences for your family's loss.

RDW
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