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Author: BornToRetire Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 681  
Subject: Re: Single parenting Date: 7/26/2001 3:08 AM
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Jeffrey , I don't mean to be contrary, but the foundation of my post relates to the fact that this is a board for single parents.

Selena's original post read as follows:

Greetings, single parents! (and those related to single parents, or interested in single parents or thinking about becoming single parents)

I thought this might be a useful board for many people. I myself am interested in how single parents juggle all their responsibilities. If you have any insights on this (or any other related topics), please feel free to share them here. Or if you have any questions, just ask!

Selena


Next post:



Hi Selena!

I'm a single mom living in Northern VA right near DC. My daughter is 9 and is in 4th grade. I am lucky because her Dad is a nice guy and lives nearby.

Great new board!

Louise


Next:



Thanks for starting this board!

I just became a single parent of three, ages 2, 6 and 8, when I left my marriage in October. Their dad loves them and gives a lot of time to them, but is very uncooperative. For example, he will not speak to me.

The most helpful resource I've found so far is a psychologist who specializes in helping divorcing parents develop a parenting plan. In second place is a book called "Joint Custody With a Jerk." It's more positive and helpful than the title makes it sound.

Thanks again,
Melanie


Jeffrey I am sure you are well intentioned, but this indeed is a board for single parents. As a single parent, when someone who is partnered or married and posts with their woes it is a departure from the integrity of this board and deprives those who are here to commisserate and collaberate to find solutions to the myriad of challenges of being a single parent. I can appreciate the fact that perhaps you feel you have something to contribute as a past single parent, but the context of your posts aren't enmeshed in that reality. Please let this board be what it is. If someone dominates with opinions or evangelistic pressures, people drop off and no longer consider this board a favorite. I'm sure that isn't where you are headed with your effort.

If you are driving people away with your religious bent, then it's time to contemplate and regroup based on the result of your prayer or meditation. Evangelism is most effective based on attraction rather than promotion.

You remark:

You really should lose your hatred for Christians. Tolerance is the politically correct buzzword these days. You'll just have to learn to tolerate Christians and married parents here.

I'm a 'card carrying' ELCU Christian in good standing (I hope) with my church. I understand that when emotionalism hits, it's hard to detach and respond. We are all guilty of spewing off a retort in the midst of an emotional moment. But it is a bad idea just as it is in a personal situation. I'm not criticizing, Jeffery I'm just speaking from personal experience.

Good for you! You have moved on and have a life that is new and obviously fullfilling. Congratulations. Your experience has perhaps dealt you a new deck of cards. However, crossing over the abyss of sharing the stress of single parentdom changes the tenor, texture and perspective of your life and how it impacts your ability to connect with others on this board.

Is there a chance that you might find a spot with a better fit?

BTW I have always personally found that evangelism by promotion creates riots, demonstrations and discontent crawling out of the woodwork. Evangelism by works, relation and trust is another ball game that usually involves home runs.

Ta,
BornToRetire

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