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Jinxy: You wrote, in part, " I'm about to get married. I'm 30 and have $12k in a 401(k) . . .; I've got about $110k in the stock market, . . ., plus a Roth IRA. So I've got the groundwork.

My fiance is 41 and has nothing but $60k . . . .

I want to make sure he's as comfortable in retirement as I will be; but he's only got 20 years until then, where I've got 30 and am further along.

Are you planning not to be married to him in 20 years? That may sound like a facetious question, but to me it sounds like you plan for him not to be living with you when he retires. Merging the finances of two individuals who are getting married is not necessarily easy, and can be more complicated if the newlyweds are not fresh out of school (older), bring different savings and debts to the marriage, or have different levels of income.

Certainly I am not intending to disparaging planning, or the reality the some marriages do end in divorce, but I firmly believe that if a marriage is going to work, at some point it has to be two people in one financial boat both pulling in the same direction and not two people in separate boats that are temporarily joined together (or two people pulling in opposite directions).

There have been a number of discussions about joint finances on these boards; unfortunately they are scattered over several boards and times and I do not have them marked. I know that there has been a recent discussion on a board. Maybe some of the other regular posters can point you in the right direction. As I recollect 2gifts and RecoveringFool have both been thoughtful posters on this topic.

Hope this helps. Regards, JAFO
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