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Author: jasonherman One star, 50 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 22681  
Subject: Judiasm & Relationships Date: 4/24/2001 12:23 PM
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Hi All:

I know this perhaps should go on the He/She Board, but at the same time I feel compelled to poll this community as well.

I was born and raised in NYC in a reformed jewish household. We didn't keep kosher, but we had a very jewish identity. I am 30 years old. I have been in a relationship with a 40 year old Irish Catholic woman for about 4 months now. I recently broke up with her but she does not want it to be over. I have expressed my need to have a jewish family and for that matter have children. I realize at 4 months it is a little early to think about children, but at the same time, it is in my heart and soul. Moreso, I am not thrilled with any aspect of catholicism being taught to my child as their cultural identiy. I know my sound harsh, but I know who I am, and recently loosing a grandmother to cancer, I feel the need to find my faith. My girlfriend has endured countless rough times that I have been through, including the illness and death of my grandmother, being laid off, searching for a job, etc. She has stood by me. I have never met someone quite like her and care for her deeply. Yet I feel that it may not be enough if I want to have a jewish family (or even have a family at that). Most of my family, both immediate and extended family, would like me to find a nice jewish girl. My grandmother, who has since passed, just wanted me to be happy, but I feel the need to give her a name that will pass on. I think that my grandmother's passing made the biggest change in my life. My girlfriend tells me that her beliefs are an addition to the relationship and not a subtraction. I am totally confused with emotion and thoughts.

Have you had any similiar experiences. Any advice to give? Any therapists or rabbi's to see (in Arlington or Alexandria VA).

Any help from the community would be helpful. I care for this woman deeply, but I fear that I will wake up one day with no offspring and no family.

Jewish, Heartbroken and confused,

-Jason
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