As my fiance and I begin the process of blending a family, I wondered how many other Fools out there are/have been/might be soon in the same circumstance. I have seen how helpful people are on other boards when it comes to sharing experience and wisdom on various life subjects so I know there is much to be gained by having a dialogue on this subject as well. Looking forward to sharing with all those who have a genuine interest in strengthening their families.Fen
Great idea for a board! There's been snippets of blended family issues on the parenting board, LBYM, and some others, but a board just to address these unique issues is probably a very good idea. Our "blendeds" are 28, 26, and 17. The family issues don't end at age 18...just like your bio-kids don't. It's a "forever" thing, for better or for worse. Just like the marriage that creates the blended family.Hope your planning is going well. Seeing blending as a deliberate process instead of something that "just happens" is a great first step!cm
Fen -- Not sure if I qualify for this board, but here's the background:Met my bride in 1946, and she had a 3-1/2 year old son from a previous marriage . We married in May, 1949 and I formally adopted him in 1950. Between us, (heh-heh), we produced another son and a daughter. All are, of course, now adults with their own families.Does this count as a start for me on this board?Regards,walbet
Hope your planning is going well. Seeing blending as a deliberate process instead of something that "just happens" is a great first step!Thanks, cm. We have indeed been very deliberate in the steps we've taken with regard to the kids. Knowing that our children are priorities in our lives is one of the things that attracted us to each other in the first place. This will be a second marriage for both of us and we both want it to work for all our sakes. We're old enough to know that you have to work at these things and it's wonderful to be with someone who is willing to work together and who shares my views on kids, family, and being partners in the process of life. I'm very thankful that we have such a solid start.We have four children between the two of us ... my son is 17, my two daughters are 14 & 8, and his son is 5 years old. My children really like their future stepdad and are very happy about our upcoming marriage. His son seems to have accepted me and wants me to help take care of him. The kids get along well but, being realistic, things will not always go smoothly. We're not all living under the same roof yet! ;-)Well, there's lots more to share and I will do so over time. Looking forward to hearing more from others.Fen
Does this count as a start for me on this board?You bet it does, walbet. Besides, I read your profile and see that you've been married for 54 years! Rock On!!!! What's your secret?!Regards,Fen
We have four children between the two of us ... my son is 17, my two daughters are 14 & 8, and his son is 5 years oldMy son was 5 when we got married. He's now 17. He really doesn't remember NOT being part of a blended family, and sees DH as his Dad even though he calls him by his first name. He is very bonded to his step-brother and step-sister and her family. DH's kids were 15 and 13 when we got married. One thing I learned: sometimes it matters less about what you do or don't do, than what your basic personality is like. My step-son, 28, and I can talk for hours about books, movies, etc.,and he will listen to my advice...my step-daughter and I get along, and I'd do anything for her, but we wouldn't "hang out".It sounds like your future step-son will be doing a lot of adjusting, from an "only" to the youngest of 4 kids! Hopefully your kids are willing to step up to the "big bother/sister plate". Most 5 year olds have a lot of hero-worship to bestow on a cool older sib.cm
". . . . . . and see that you've been married for 54 years! Rock On!!!! What's your secret?"Fen --Plain and simple, guess the secret is to keep smiling, keep loving each other, and above all KEEP BREATHING! (It also helps a lot if you stay out of unnecessary debt; actually this should be very high on the list!).Regards, walbet
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