The joke below just struck me as humorous. I don't necessarily fall on any particular side of the social or political side of anything written.************************************************************HISTORY LESSONHistory began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of smallbands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountainsduring the summer & would go to the coast & live on fish & lobster inwinterThe 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of beer& the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to thebeer. These were the foundation of modern civilization & together werethe catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups:Liberals & Conservatives.Once beer was discovered it required grain & that was the beginning ofagriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were inventedyet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting forthem to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's howvillages were formed.Some men spent their days tracking & killing animals to B-B-Q at nightwhile they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is knownas "the Conservative movement." Other men who were weaker & lessskilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing upfor the nightly B-B-Q's & doing the sewing, fetching & hair dressing.This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberalmen eventually evolved into women. Some noteworthy Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,the invention of group therapy & group hugs & the concept of Democraticvoting to decide how to divide the meat & beer that conservativesprovided.Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, mostpowerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized bythe jackass.Modern Liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most preferwhite wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like theirbeef well done. Sushi, tofu, & French food are standard liberal fare.Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women havehigher testosterone levels than their men.Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers inHollywood & group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented thedesignated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher alsobat.Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat & still provide fortheir women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, policeofficers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes & generally anyonewho works productively outside government.Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want towork for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to"govern" the producers & decide what to do with the production. Liberalsbelieve Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why mostof the Liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming toAmerica.They crept in after the Wild West was tame & created a business oftrying to get MORE for nothing.Here ends today's lesson in world history.jNe
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