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Author: altoflaco Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 883676  
Subject: LBYM TIPS from Bill Gates Date: 10/3/2000 10:34 AM
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This is the October 2, 2000 TopFive.com list. It is on-topic and highly appropriate for this (frequently) humor-impaired board. Enjoy.

AltoFlaco



NOTE FROM CHRIS:

Forbes magazine reported that Bill Gates' fortune
has fallen from $85 billion to $63 billion.

TopFive sat down and came up with a few ideas
for how Bill could lower his monthly budget...


The Top 15 Bill Gates Penny-Pinching Tips


[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2000 by Chris White ]


15> Switch to *single* ply hundred dollar bill toilet paper.

14> A dirty set of monogrammed China and Waterford Crystal can,surprisingly, be re-used if cleaned with soap.

13> Insist lawyers turn off Justice Department lights when they leave.

12> Swipe a few cents from the penny cup at every Starbucks in Seattle.

11> After getting hit in the face with a pie, ask for
a doggie bag.

10> Make those $7 haircuts last an extra week or two.

9> Only reboot the house twice a day.

8> Setting up a batch of overseas companies: $25,000,000;
Liquidating and transferring all assets: $50,000,000;
Flipping Janet Reno the bird as you relocate to a third world country: priceless.

7> Cut back on helicopter runs to the store for milk.

6> Fire the marching band that follows you around playing the Star Wars Imperial March whenever you walk down the hall totake a leak.

5> Quit spending billions on Pokemon merchandise on Ebay.

4> Nightly strolls through Microsoft headquarters to turn off the monitors.

3> Suspend construction of the Death Star for a few weeks.

2> When hiring staff for your evil lair, remember that one angry Bobby Knight is worth a hundred killer defense androids.


and Topfive.com's Number 1 Bill Gates Penny-Pinching Tip...


1> From now on, just watch "Star Trek" on TV -- no more paying Nimoy and Shatner to act out episodes in your living room.



[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2000 by Chris White ]


=======================================================
Selected from 140 submissions from 48 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Marshal Perlman, Minneapolis, MN -- 1, 7 (4th #1)
Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 2, 5
Chris Walker, Calimesa, CA -- 3, 6
Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 3
Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 4, 10 (Hall of Famer)
Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 7, 14
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia -- 8
Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 9, 13
Kevin Hawley, Fairless Hills, PA -- 10, 15 (Hall of Famer)
Julie Kozaczka Stahlhut, Kalamazoo, MI -- 11
Eric Lipton, Washington, DC -- 12
Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- 13 (Hall of Famer)
Jim Griffith, Sunnyvale, CA -- 15, HM list name
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 15 (Hall of Famer)
Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 15
Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 15
Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- Topic
Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- Banner (Hall of Famer)
John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- Runner Up list name
Jimmy White, Austin, TX -- Birthday Boy
Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner/editor
The Beatles, Liverpool, England -- Ambience
-> Ambience explanation: http://www.topfive.com/arcs/am100200.htm
-------------------------------------------------------
"Cheapskates" and "Devalued"
The Runners Up and Honorable Mention submissions for today's list can be found on the Joke A Day website:
http://www.jokeaday.com/nftop5.shtml
=======================================================
[ T H E T O P F I V E L I S T ]
[ TOP5 -- The Home of Original Humor http://www.topfive.com ]
[-----------------------------------------------------]

[ Copyright 2000 by Chris White All rights reserved. ]
[ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use in any manner ]
[ without crediting "The Top 5 List at www.topfive.com" ]
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