Like Diana, I missed the news in real time. My deepest condolences for your loss. It's always hard to lose a parent, and it's harder when it happens unexpectedly or sooner than the world would expect.On the concern about how it affects LJ: I had a grandfather die in his 50s, when I was too young to remember. I expect LJ will remember a lot of stories about his grandpa, and be sure you have pictures for him to see. Oh, and a relationship with his grandma is probably even more important with grandpa gone. I have very fond memories of the grandma who lived almost 3 decades longer than her husband.Diana says: My vote? Celebrate your kid's birthday. Maybe do it the day before or after T's birthday, maybe just make it a small thing with your sweet little family. But in any case, please express to the universe that you are having a ball with your little boy and get the obligatory "1 year old faceplants into his first birthday cake" picture for posterity. I don't think you will regret doing that, but you may regret not having a picture of it down the road.I'd say celebrate it on the actual day, and make a big deal out of it being both T's birthday and LJ's. Sharing a birthday with his father is something special LJ has that most kids don't have. My vote would be to make it special for LJ and T both, rather than trying to separate it and give them each a day. If T is the kind of father I've heard you talking about, he'll be great at making the day special for LJ.Patzer
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