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<<<<I am back on the wagon since though (haven't given up giving up)>>>>

Fagen, I would appreciate it if you would share 5 reasons why you wish to quit drinking. I found it useful in a decision-making process to list "advantages and disadvantages" in separate columns, and then question each of those to see if it was an accurate and truthful statement. I find few people who wish to "quit" without perhaps several reasons. In other words, drinking which might have been fun at one time has become more and more troublesome - the problems have increased and the pleasure decreased.

I took very seriously the idea of not driving after drinking, and once I violated that rule for myself I felt very depressed and was looking for ways to end my own life before I hurt someone else. A personal experience from my past, where a friend from my confirmation class had accidently killed a person he was deer hunting with and could not forgive himself, made me fearful of similar "guilt" even if it was an accident. That person decided to never touch a rifle again. I could relate that to not touching alcohol again. I had read and heard many stories of people who had done things when drunk they would never have considered if sober. I was starting to do some of those things.

All we can do here is "warn" or give ideas of how progressive alcohol addiction is. If there are no indications of any problems, then people do not usually quit. But if you notice that the "elevator" that you are riding keeps going to lower and lower floors (only on occasion rising a floor or two), you may decide you do not wish to ride it to the lowest level. Then you may decide to exit that elevator and look for one that is "going up."

Getting sober is not a "Can You Top This" game (although some play that), it is a decision to change your behavior and thus your future. Some of us do not see the "insanity" of our behaviors. We operate on an emotional level rather than a rational level.

Fagen, I hope you will bring us up to date on how things are progressing. You may hear people say the solution is "simple" but I doubt that you hear that it is easy. It may be the hardest thing in your life to "give up drinking" but it can be done, and I suggest using all the help you can get. We who are recovering try to share our hope, strength, and experience with others to help them on their way.

Good luck, Gapfan
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