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Author: SirSouthBent Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 126958  
Subject: Re: This is everyone's board. Date: 7/28/2003 9:50 PM
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<<<Why do you feel you have the right to dictate how this board is used?>>>

It was a joke. Sheesh.

That's your standard answer when someone calls you to task for a ridiculous statement, but it no longer holds any weight with me. Your post hit more closely to the truth than you are now willing to admit. Your insider information is always welcome here, and undoubtedly has contributed to the knowledge base of countless Fools. It does not entitle you to determine how this board is to be used nor what kinds of posts are acceptable. If someone wants to come vent a little about a less-than-satisfying mortgage-seeking experience what's wrong with that? Some people certainly seem to benefit from blowing off steam here. By what right would you deny them that relief?

In reality, since it's a free board, she has the right to put up a No Whining sign and you have the right to ignore it...or whine about....lol

I would hardly classify my comments as whining. I directly adressed her comment, which she immediately distanced herself from. On a message board, all that we are is a collection of words. When someone is only accountable for their words *some* of the time, their comments become less meaningful in general.

LOL..it always amazes me how people don't see the double standard, it's her board too, you don't think she has a right to post a no whining sign?

You are trying to draw a parallel where there is none. I did not come in trying to limit Catherine's speech, I merely objected to her assumption that she knows what is best for the board. Furthermore, Catherine's status as a mortgage insider and prolific poster gives her a certain amount of "instant credibility" with those new to this board. Her diatribes against anyone having a less-than-satisfying mortgage experience might lead some newbies to conclude that this is an inappropriate (or at least uncomfortable) place for blowing off steam, making the board less useful to them than it otherwise might be. Many see mortgages as scary and incomprehensible. The aura of confrontation that surrounds this board keeps many from asking their questions in the first place, which is a downright shame.

Catherine said she would like to post a "no whining" sign on this board. I took that comment at face value. I found this comment wholly consistent with the persona CatherineCoy displays in this forum. I suspect that if she owned this board she would have put up a No Whining sign long ago. Catherine posts a variation of her "no whining" sign at every opportunity. I don't deny that she has that "right". But when she injects her No Whining Zone diatribes into unrelated threads, taking new jabs at old posters who have long since dropped their arguments, it invites scorn from board regulars who have seen the pattern repeated ad nauseum.

However much you might want it to be, this is NOT the "Answers from a Mortgage Insider" board. There are simply times when your experience is inapplicable, and you would be well served by reserving your comments in these instances rather than trying to turn most every thread into a conflict of noble broker vs. bumbling borrower.

You do business as an Upfront Mortgage Broker. I think it is a fine business model and applaud your efforts to conduct your business in a straightforward and transparent manner. You need to recognize that your way of doing business is the exception and not the rule. You regularly make all sorts of assumptions and inferences about the situations others face without sufficient information.

Any time there is a post wherein a borrower complains about lack of communication or poor service from a broker, you instantly jump to the defense of the broker. This gets you into trouble in thread after thread, for it is often shown that an uncommunicative or unprofessional broker is ultimately to blame. Your dogmatic, unwavering support for those on your side of the fence continues to leave the majority of posters and lurkers unimpressed. You regularly confuse "giving an insider's perspective" with "the broker is never wrong, and if they are it's not their fault".

Many complaints here are legitimate, yet you relentlessly assume that there is another side to every "bad broker" story. These may never apply to you, but in reality:
-some brokers are incompetent
-some brokers are uncommunicative
-some brokers promise what they know they can't deliver

Additionally:
-some borrowers are uneducated about mortgages
-some borrowers are unreasonable
-some borrowers are too emotional to act rationally

The problem is that you assume every borrower posting a complaint is uneducated, unreasonable, or emotional; while assuming that their broker is competent, communicative, and professional. I find this particularly surprising in light of your status as a UMB... if anyone knows how many incompetent brokers there are out there, it should be you!

You come at issues presented here from the perspective of a UMB, and I can't fault you for that. The problem comes in when your assumptions prove baseless or outright wrong. You make hasty judgements and assumptions about presented situations, then go to battle on the basis of these unsubstantiated guesses. If your assumptions later prove faulty, your tendency is to change the argument to fit your worldview rather than simply admit that you didn't know the situation well enough to comment in the first place.

More than once I have seen you argue a position on the basis of what you remember someone saying rather than on the basis of what was actually said. Your tendency to craft a response based on your emotional reaction to the perceived contents of a post rather than on the actual content of a post will continue to contribute to dischord here unless and until you recognize this shortcoming in your responses. Quoting actual passages in your responses rather than paraphrasing may help you avoid this pitfall. You may also find it helps to re-read earlier responses in a thread rather than relying solely on memory when trying to recall the positions and statements of others when making your counterpoint.

You also seem to fail to recognize that each and every screenname here is attached to an actual PERSON at the other end. You regularly make sidehanded comments about "emotional" and "unreasonable" Fools in unrelated threads. Such interjections are petty. I would call it sniping. It is certainly a tactic best left to trolls. When you make such comments there will always be those who will assume that your comments are directed at them, and at least some of them will be right! Snide and out of place commentary reflects poorly on you and only serves to reopen the same old can of worms in yet another thread. Generalizations like "Damb! Two in a row--we're being overrun with THINKIN'--not FEELIN'--Fools! YEAAAAAA!!!" earn you only adversaries.
You might find that it is worth your time to more finely hone your barbs so that they only sting the intended target.

You would apparently have us believe that you are the most misunderstood person in all of Fooldom. You are only here to help, and all these big bad jerks are out trying to "make you wrong". Is there any possibility that maybe just maybe YOU are in the wrong once in a while? It is merely my perception, but from here you seem to thrive on conflict.

Perhaps it would be helpful to reflect on the fact that you are the common denominator in these encounters, and examine the possibility that something you are doing is contributing to this oft-repeating pattern.

-bent


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