Make a formal request in writing
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That sounds like a good idea... better on the nerves... and I have gotten some good advice from an exlawyer who says the same thing about getting info if we are mentioned in the will.

In fact, I have a practicing lawyer friend and, if he offers, I think I'll ask him to request the will in writing...

If the lawyer doesn't offer to write, and you do it yourself, ask him what points you should cover. If he gives you some words you'll sound more as if you know something about wills and are more likely to be taken seriously by the other lawyer. Also make yourself some very business-y letterhead.