Message Font: Serif | Sans-Serif
 
UnThreaded | Threaded | Whole Thread (1) | Ignore Thread Prev | Next
Author: LennieKR Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 11198  
Subject: mammograms Date: 10/9/2000 3:46 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 10
Hi, been lurking here a long time - have really enjoyed this board. It's a little slow today so thought I'd throw in some levity (already shared this on another board).


> > -----: Mammogram!
> >
> > For years and years they told me,
> > Be careful of your breasts.
> > Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
> > And give them monthly tests.
> >
> > So I heeded all their warnings,
> > And protected them by law.
> > Guarded them very carefully,
> > And I always wore my bra.
> >
> > After 30 years of astute care,
> > My doctor found a lump.
> > She ordered up a mammogram,
> > To look inside that bump.
> >
> > "Stand up very close" she said.
> > As she got my boob in line,
> > "And tell me when it hurts" she said.
> > "Ah yes! There, that's fine.
> >
> > She stepped upon a pedal.
> > I could not believe my eyes!
> > A plastic plate pressed down and down,
> > My boob was in a vise!
> >
> > My skin was stretched and stretched,
> > From way up under my chin.
> > My poor boob was being squashed,
> > To Swedish pancake thin.
> >
> > Excruciating pain I felt.
> > Within it's vice-like grip.
> > A prisoner in this viscous thing,
> > My poor defenseless tit!
> >
> > "Take a deep breath" she said to me,
> > Who does she think she's kidding?
> > My chest is mashed in her machine,
> > And woozy I am getting.
> >
> > "There, that was good," I heard her say
> > As the room was slowly swaying.
> > "Now, let's have a go at the other one."
> > Lord have mercy I was praying.
> >
> > It squeezed me from up and down.
> > It squeezed me from both sides.
> > I'll bet she's never had this done,
> > Not to her tender little hide!
> >
> > If I had no problem when I came in,
> > I surely have one now.
> > If there had been a cyst in there,
> > It would have popped, "ker-pow!"
> >
> > This machine was created by a man,
> > Of this, I have no doubt.
> > I'd like to stick his balls in there,
> > And see how they come out !!!
> >



Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll . Report this Post | Recommend it!
Print the post  
UnThreaded | Threaded | Whole Thread (1) | Ignore Thread Prev | Next

Announcements

Pencils of Promise - Back to School Drive
"Pencils of Promise works with communities across the globe to build schools and create programs that provide education opportunities for children."
Managing Your Wealth
Our own TMFHockeypop from Rule Your Retirement fame on the TV show Managing Your Wealth.
When Life Gives You Lemons
We all have had hardships and made poor decisions. The important thing is how we respond and grow. Read the story of a Fool who started from nothing, and looks to gain everything.
What was Your Dumbest Investment?
Share it with us -- and learn from others' stories of flubs.
Community Home
Speak Your Mind, Start Your Blog, Rate Your Stocks

Community Team Fools - who are those TMF's?
Contact Us
Contact Customer Service and other Fool departments here.
Work for Fools?
Winner of the Washingtonian great places to work, and "#1 Media Company to Work For" (BusinessInsider 2011)! Have access to all of TMF's online and email products for FREE, and be paid for your contributions to TMF! Click the link and start your Fool career.
Advertisement