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Married status should withhold LESS than single.
(That's why you can check "married, withhold as single" so that the govt can hold onto more of your money)

Well, this is NJ, not federal, so the rules are a bit weird.

When you select married, you then select one five "rates" - A through E. To make a long story short, since there's a marriage penalty built into the NJ tax brackets, the higher rates actually increase your total withholding compared to single.

I've looked up the the withholding tables and confirmed that it will increase the withholding as I'm aiming to do.

SO - sounds like a really small company that they actually know whether she's married.

Actually, no, its a huge national company. Only a few hundred people in her location maybe, but its not like its a small office either. They wouldn't know, but they must have said like 'oh, you got married' and she said 'no not yet, but in a few months', and then they refused.
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