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Author: Tigorious Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 35  
Subject: Me, Again Date: 12/23/2009 2:43 PM
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Seems weird to be the only one in the Motley Fool Family to have problems as a step parent, but hey, I do.

Lately, meaning the last 3 months or so. Things have gone from barely tolerable, to sickening. Ok, maybe I am being dramatic, but not to me.

With my 14 year old stepson things have gotten ridiculous, and not in a funny way.

First, he does nothing but lie. I am furious about this and yet, I can sorta understand his frustration.

His parents, my husband and his father and his mother have been at war. His mother was one of those who bought too much during boon times and recently "HAD to walk away from her mortgage, then declare bankruptcy". Prior to that my husband had been paying her child support thru payroll deduction. They had agreed amongst themselves the amount. Since they had agreed to an amount a less than the state mandate, my husband verbally agreed to a lot of other concessions. He paid for all sports and extracurricular activities fees. He took him for back to school clothes shopping sprees 2 times a year. My husband was of course paying for his medical insurance, dental insurance, and vision care. My husband also paid all copays as well as any other incidentals.


Now my husband's ex has taken him to court and he pays close to triple what he did thru payroll garnishment. Well, guess what. He can no longer afford all the extras for his son. My husband is so angry that his ex and he couldn't work something out between them and that she went straight to the DA's office. She got the extra child support, but my stepson now has a much lower standard of living. He is very angry with both of his parents.

We of course, can't tell him what is going on without making his mother sound bad. He went from living in a super nice condo with his mom to living in a small rental house. When he is with us, which is now almost 50%, we can no longer afford extras.

He got a .6 grade point average on his recent report card. He had been destroying notes sent home to his mother. He had also been deleting e-mail from the school to his mother. He tells everyone whatever he needs to, to get out of trouble.

Look, I know that most 14 year olds have problem with honesty, but this is serious. His mother tries to cover for him and will not admit there is a problem. My husband is so angry with his ex, he is not thinking straight. I cannot get thru to my husband at all.

I am so frustrated. I cry almost everyday about it. This will not end well. I love my stepson so much. I have been his stepmom for over 11 years now. I see the sadness in his eyes. I try to be there for him, but he lies to me as well. I just try to do right by him, but it isn't enough. I know that all I have ever been is a glorified babysitter for him. From the time he was school age until he was 12 he stayed almost the entire summer with me tutoring him. When he has been out of school sick or hurt, he stayed with me.

I know there is nothing that can be done. It doesn't stop it from hurting. Step parenting sux. You do all the work of a parent but get none of the say or credit or authority.

I wish you well...........oh yeah, I am the only one......ha ha ha.



Tigorious
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