This post is an example of my need to do what I fear- this here is total honesty on a very serious subject where I may or may not come out looking good. :o) I also feel that more people should tell the truth about such things.. wherever the chips may fall. The truth is, after all, the truth- and we can't progress without dealing with it.I've tried really hard to understand the negative feelings I have whenever I chance to see two men kissing. I'm positive it isn't about my huge religious background. I suppose it comes from the fact that I'm a heterosexual and that I subconsciously place myself as one of the participants. I know men that I love, but it couldn't be like that for me. Projecting oneself into a viewed love scene isn't unusual. Matter of fact, Hollywood makes lots of cash betting that it's the norm (not to mention the porn industry) :o) I KNOW it isn't the same-sexness of the thing because two women kissing seems very natural to me. I suppose it's because I'm a heterosexual man and can completely understand anyone who wishes to passionately kiss a woman. It could very well be that it is this projection that is the biggest problem here. Even bigger than religion. Think about it. Have you noticed the (perhaps) stereotype of a gay man getting along with women really well? Having more woman friends than guy friends? The fact that women have less trouble accepting male gay relationships than men? I expect it is because a woman can relate to kissing and loving a man in that way. To me, it is VERY foreign.I had an epiphany tonight. To many, allowing gay marriage means that men will be kissing in the streets and we will all be asked to just deal with it. They'll move in next door and kiss on the porch and our kids will see this and feel weird as well. And then-- it hit me like a ton of bricks. These people have been living together for YEARS. They've been kissing and holding hands and going out to dinner and dancing and loving each other and paying the bills and planning for the future all along. And just how often is it an issue? PDA's aren't that common anyways, no matter who the participants are. I actually had a gay neighbor and he was the best neighbor you could have. When he moved out, I called my best friend and asked if he could buy the house because I'd been spoiled by this guy- I wanted a good neighbor like he had been. I suddenly realized that the problem I was having was mine and mine alone. The gay marriage issue is one of a piece of paper that allows all sorts of absolutely invisible things. Gay marriage won't change the landscape one iota. It won't change the frequency of homosexuality, nor will it change the frequency of men kissing in the streets. It won't cause any negative repercussions, but will actually resolve some very negative and unfair practices that have devastated people for generations. The way I feel when I see men kissing will just have to change. I'll just have to stop being an intellectual supporter of fairness and actually live the words of John Lennon when the Beatles' handler told him that he was gay- "Any kind of love, man."It's love. The way I internally feel when I see it in action is totally out of sinc with how I should feel when I see the acts of affection between two people who really love each other. I shouldn't see a man and a man, a woman and a woman, a man and a woman- all I should see and react to is a person and a person who have been fortunate enough to have found the absolute supremo supremo be-all of human existence- true love.I know I've been championing the cause because I know that it's right.But now, I know absolutely and without a doubt WHY it's right.Gay marriage is such a small thing when you think about it. But to those few recipients, it's the world- one that the rest of us take for granted. Just check out the divorce rates. :o)k
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