Mentioned this thread to a friend. 3 years ago I was pressing her to file seperately. Her husband had been doing the returns and filing them without letting her see them for years. She'd discovered he was in trouble with IRS and had some kind of payment arrangement with them. While she respected my advice, it took a CPA she knew telling her if it was a matter of the extra taxes due when filing seperately, he would pay them for her but she must file seperately to get her to do it. Today she is very glad she did. Her husband recently admitted he has gone through his entire 401k (once near a million) and still owes the IRS. Apparently he made a series of bad investments and then made more bad investments trying to recover. Like OP, it's a marriage not likely to last much longer.
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