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Author: mtr Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 308722  
Subject: Mom and Dad update Date: 1/8/2014 10:07 PM
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Mom got back from the optomologist found out in right eye now blind. Surgery not an option. Mom can not stay still for 45 minutes in one position let alone for 45 minutes.

Dad fell last Friday night. Had to go to emergency room. Put ice pack on knee. Hurt jaw. Did not want to go to dentist.

Dad got upset with me for checking on him at the hospital and leaving mom alone.

Car debt $9,529 at 2.49%
Freedom card $240
Slate $0
AX Blue : $0

Checking $2
Saving $5
Efund $16

Paid tommorrow $610 checking $5 savings efund $28

Pay car $120 and pay Freedom $240
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Author: ishtarastarte Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 307666 of 308722
Subject: Re: Mom and Dad update Date: 1/8/2014 10:59 PM
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And how are you doing with all this stress?

It sounds like things are getting worse, not better.

Ishtar

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Author: MetroChick Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 307667 of 308722
Subject: Re: Mom and Dad update Date: 1/9/2014 4:58 PM
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Mom got back from the optomologist found out in right eye now blind. Surgery not an option. Mom can not stay still for 45 minutes in one position let alone for 45 minutes.

Most people don't have to stand still for eye surgery - they get knocked out with anestesia. Is there a reason your mom can't go through anestesia (such as nerve pain when coming out of it)?

Don't know how old your parents are, but if they're Medicare age, have you looked into any home health aid options? If they can't be in their own home without an able bodied person there long-term, it might be time they need to look at some assisted-living options.

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Author: mtr Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 307668 of 308722
Subject: Re: Mom and Dad update Date: 1/10/2014 10:18 PM
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Computer network down at home last days that why I haven't responded.


From dad email to me. snip ".Dr says she has a hole in the back of the left eye in the macular. Has no idea what has caused it. Surgery in a hospital with anthestia would be necessary. They didn’t know if she could even have the surgery based on just having brain surgery. In addition, after the surgery, they would place an air-bubble in the eye to hold the gel in place, and then she must have her head down on a pillow or sitting in a special chair so your head is down and this is 45” out of every hour 24 hours per day for a week. You would only have 15” to lift your head i.e. eat, go the the bathroom, etc. We have decided she won’t have the surgery along with the recent brain surgery. I can barely get her up out of bed to go the bathroom, get her up on a walker or wheel chair. She can’t sleep on her stomach, so trying to deal with this position for a week would be very difficult for both of us......She can see fine out of the right eye and is in no discomfort in the left. She goes back to her regular dr. in Feb. for another checkup."


As far as mom going to assisted living dad and I have look at having hospice of the valley for mom. She is ineligble for this service. Dad can not afford to put mom in to assisted living center on a permament basis. Dad would be out of money completely and not be able to afford the house. The decision to mom in assisted living is dads its his money.

As far as me goes I trying to stay calm help mom and dad where I can. There are times I have to wheel chair mom to the bathroom so dad can have a break. I go to the store, sams club, get moms depends at cvs.

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Author: ishtarastarte Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 307669 of 308722
Subject: Re: Mom and Dad update Date: 1/10/2014 10:30 PM
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As far as me goes I trying to stay calm help mom and dad where I can.

And informing your doc of the extra stress? Taking your meds on a good schedule?

Ishtar
(under going some stressful stuff right now, though not that stressful, and needed a med adjustment, so sensitive to this right now)

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Author: mtr Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 307670 of 308722
Subject: Re: Mom and Dad update Date: 1/10/2014 10:48 PM
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I take my Risperdone 4 and carbamazine every night with out fail. My psy. doctor know whats going on. I have a 90 day supply of risperdone on hand and 90 day supply of carbamzine on hand.

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Author: ishtarastarte Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 307671 of 308722
Subject: Re: Mom and Dad update Date: 1/10/2014 11:04 PM
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Good.

Just checking because I worry.

Ishtar

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Author: Windowseat Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 307672 of 308722
Subject: Re: Mom and Dad update Date: 1/10/2014 11:15 PM
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As far as me goes I trying to stay calm help mom and dad where I can. There are times I have to wheel chair mom to the bathroom so dad can have a break. I go to the store, sams club, get moms depends at cvs.

I dealt with this with my father for three years after he had a major stroke. I know how it can wear you down. I took Dad to the bathroom, helped feed him, put him to bed and so on. My mother did the brunt of the work, but I helped when I could.

We had an LPN come in every morning M-F to give him a shower and get him dressed. She was there for about two hours every morning. We were in New York then, and I can't remember the name of the service, but it was through some organization that helped supply nursing care. Have you checked to see if there's something available in your area? It wouldn't cost as much as hospice, but it would give your dad some relief.

Those three years were why my mother was so adamant about not wanting extra measures if she became fully dependent. We followed her instructions and she died within a couple of weeks after her stroke.

It's hard, I know.

Nancy

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Author: Windowseat Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 307673 of 308722
Subject: Re: Mom and Dad update Date: 1/11/2014 9:39 AM
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She was there for about two hours every morning. We were in New York then, and I can't remember the name of the service, but it was through some organization that helped supply nursing care. Have you checked to see if there's something available in your area? It wouldn't cost as much as hospice, but it would give your dad some relief.

Remembered it this morning.

Visiting Nurse Association. And it appears that they're active in Arizona.

Nancy

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Author: MetroChick Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 307675 of 308722
Subject: Re: Mom and Dad update Date: 1/11/2014 9:47 PM
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Dad can not afford to put mom in to assisted living center on a permament basis. Dad would be out of money completely and not be able to afford the house. The decision to mom in assisted living is dads its his money.

Are you sure he's really looked into it, as from my mom's AARP magazines, it seems to be eligble for medicare/medicaid to pay for assisted living, the house value is safe, but 1/2 a couple's assets would have to be spent down first to "count" as the spouse's share who needs care. If your mom was in assisted living, your dad wouldn't need a whole house to himself. And if they're depending so much on you, it's not really just your dad's choice.

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