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I came across this board by accident. I can really empathize with all of the posters with regard on how to handle certain situations ie., cleanliness, motivation, depression, etc. I went through all of this with my father and mother who are now deceased.

After my mother died, the main concern was to keep my father from going into a depression and giving up. Some of the things that I did was to ask him to do things for me. This kept him busy and, after awhile, he felt needed again.

I would call him everyday to find out how his day was going. I would plan to have dinner with him at least once a week, either take him out or have him over.

Some days, I would call him in the morning to tell him that I was coming for dinner and he could make anything he wants. That gave him the opportunity to plan an evening. I would come over and the table would be set and dinner cooking. I know he enjoyed this tremendously. So did I as I didn't have to cook.

I guess the point that I am trying to make is try to incorporate your parents into your everyday life if possible. It can be small things, like calling or have them take care of something for you.

At this stage, loneliness is a big problem and you need to get them involved in life again. I would set aside a special day to do activities with him, ie., fishing, going to the races, taking him to New York.

I can only speak based on my own situation. I will say that I spent alot of time with my father, after my mother died and it was worth it. He suffered a massive stroke 3 years ago and passed within a week. He was 77 years old. I can tell you that the time we spent together has given me wonderful memories.


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