I am in a 19 yr. relationship which I realize is not something I want to continue for the rest of my life. It is negative and depressing and diminishes the person I am and the person I want to be. I regret that I didn't have the guts years earlier to take action but I always felt if I just worked harder, was more patient, more accepting etc that I could stick it out or improve it. It never seemed like the "right" time to take action - there was always a holiday, birthday, child's activity or sport that I didn't want to upset. My oldest daughter is a freshman in college, my other daughter is a senior in high school, and I have a 9 yr. old son. Last year I didn't want to upset my daughters senior year. This year I didn't want to upset my other daughters senior year and graduation. But I am coming to the end of my rope. I started counseling this summer to prepare myself to make the emotional break and mentally prepare myself to move forward and take the necessary steps. Sometimes I think I will follow my plan and move out immediately following my daughers graduation.....sometimes I think I will have a knee jerk reaction and move out immediately following an "incident". For example, I would look for a house or apartment today (based on last night) ....except that would turn Christmas into total turmoil. I guess in my heart I know the direction I am moving I am just not sure if its next week or 6 months from now. And I wonder if any of you that have been through this have any advice. Things that you wish you had done or known before you started down this path. I want to limit the damage emotionally and mentally to myself and children....and him....as much as possible. And financially I would like to be cautious and careful so that I don't incur so much debt that it sets me back for years. Any advice is appreciated.