Murphy's Laws of Photography

- You are not Ansel Adams

- Neither are you Edward J. Steichen, Margaret Bourke White or Edward Weston

- Automatic Cameras aren't always

- Autofocus won't always

- If you can't remember, you left the memory card at home

- No photo assignment remains unchanged after the first day of shooting

- If a photo shoot goes to smoothly, then your computers hard drive is likely about to crash

- If it is stupid but it works, it isn't so stupid

- Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the Client is watching

- The most critical memory card is the one most likely to fail or get lost

- Photo assistents are essential, they give the photographer someone to yell at

- The one item (batteries, memory cards, etc.) you need is always in short supply at the store you are at.

- Interchangeable parts rarely are

- Long life batteries never live quite long enough

- Weather never cooperates

- Everything always works perfectly in your home or prior to a shoot, everything always fails on location or in the middl of a shoot

- For every action, there is an equal and opposite critisism

- The newest and least experienced photographer will usually win any photo competition

- Every instruction given to a photo lab, which can be misunderstood, will be

- Never tell a photo editor you have nothing to do

- Anything which must be shipped together as a set, won't be

- No photojournalist is well dressed

- No well dressed photographer is a photojournalist

- Professional photographers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs

- Nature shots invariably happen on two occasions.. When the animals are ready and when your are not

- Same rule as above, but substitute children

- There is no such thing as a perfect shoot

- The important things are always simple

- The simple things always end up being hard

- Flashes will fail as soon as you need them

- A clean and dry camera is a magnet for dust, mud and moisture

- Photographic experience is something you never get until just after you need it

- The lens that fails most is always the most expensive

- When you drop a lens cap, the inside part will always land face down in the mud

- Bugs will always want to land on the mirror during a lens swap

- Your batteries will always go dead during a long exposure with the shutter open

- When you shoot the night away and never have to stop, you probably forgot toput in a memory card

- Lenses are always attracted back to their source - Hard rocks and sand

- The greater a photographer's excitement over a shot, the more likely they are to accidentally delete the file.

- The success of an shoot is inversely proportional to the product of its importance and the number of people watching

- Strobes only explode when lots of people are watching and they are within close proximity of a model

- Strobes work best when there is nobody else to see them

- auth unknown...