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Author: gapfan Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 948  
Subject: Re: The only Date: 8/6/2005 10:23 PM
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My comment about being "too proud" to ask for help is not meant to be a critical comment. It is just an indication that "pride" stands in our way for help in many situations. I usually wanted solutions to problems that were "my own ideas" so I could be proud of myself for the ability to solve the problem. One problem I had was recognizing how angry a person I was. I thought I did not have anger because I did not get in fights. I would describe anger in terms that did not include me, because I was "better" than that or "different" in some way. I found (with other people's help) that they described anger in different ways, and that I indeed was a very angry person, filled with all sorts of "right and wrong" thoughts and attitudes. I had "judgements" on all sorts of situations and events.

The point is that unless one works with someone closely (perhaps a sponsor), they may not get the "feedback" which helps in a solution to a drinking problem. In attempting to describe why I drank, I might answer that it made me "feel better" in certain situations. A question became "feel better from what?". Most of the things were tenseness over how other people did things or treated me, all "judgements" and anger.

By attending AA meetings, I found others with similar situations who would share how they had overcome their problems. They were willing to share their experiences with me, and I could try that approach if I wished. It became a situation of their solutions were working and mine were not. I tried some of their ideas and they worked, and I am happy.

I have not read many of the posts in this thread as I only recently found this one, so I don't mean to offend anyone intentionally.

gapfan
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