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Author: Durnib Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 44390  
Subject: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/25/2000 5:11 PM
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WARNING: VERY LONG POST AHEAD! But it is a good story. Trust me.

At the suggestion of my friend Jedi, here is a post fit for the Fool Family...

Today, June 25th, is my ex's birthday. I'll call her Julia, because she looks like Ms. Roberts. Every year at this time, I write to her, telling her what I've been up to and asking what she has been doing.

Most people think it is pathetic. Actually, I think it is pathetic. We broke up in 1994. And she never writes back. But she is by far the most influential person in my life, except for my parents. So much of who I am, what I do, and where I want to go is because of her. It just doesn't seem right to not try to connect with her.

I don't still love her, not in the way I did anyway. I've been in several relationships since. And I am not looking to date my ex again. I just want an opportunity to thank her for everything she did for me, and to say I am sorry for everything I did to her. So, in a way, my writing to her is my penance.

Well, here is the story of my best date, which was with her. It occurs in the spring of 1993. I was a junior in college, she a sophomore....

We started dating in February of that year. And as summer was fast approaching, and I realized I wouldn't really see her during the summer, I wanted to do something special before school let out. We compared exam schedules, and we decided to put Saturday, May 8th aside to spend together. May 6th would have been our 3 month anniversary, so it worked out well.

I called her the morning of the 8th, and told her we had dinner reservations and that I had borrowed a friend's car. I would pick her up at 6:00, and she should wear something nice.

At 6:00pm, I went to her door, and she opened it wearing a stunning white and yellow sun dress. I gave her a dozen white carnations, her favorite flowers, and suggested we go for a short walk around campus, as it was really nice outside and we had some time before dinner.

Our dorms were at the far corner of campus, so we starting walking toward the center, admiring the flowers and the students playing frisbee, studying, and just hanging out in the sun. Next to the campus center is the Chapel. And frequently during the spring, alumni return to get married there. Especially on Saturdays.

As we approached the Chapel, we did, in fact, see a limo parked outside, with a chauffeur leaning against the car. Julia smiled and said "Hey, look Brian. Someone must be getting married!"

"Yea. Hey, watch this" I said as I walked over to the chauffeur.

"Hello, I'm Mr. Durnik (not my real name, of course)."

"Why, hello Mr. Durnik. Allow me." And he opened the door for Julia and myself. She didn't know what the heck was going on, but I winked at her and told her to just get in.

The limo took off, to where Julia had no clue. Finally, after about 20 min., it stopped and the driver let us out in front of a restaurant on the edge of town. We walked in to beautiful music played by the pianist, as well as Julia's roommate leaving the restaurant. (I knew she was going to be there, and thought it would be nice for Julia to be able to tell her friend what was going on. She loved it.)

We sat down to a lovely dinner. Everything made to order. When we finished, I told her we still had my friend's car for the evening, so why don't we take the limo back, we can get changed, and we will go into town for some desert. (She loved frozen yogurt.)

We took the limo back, I paid the driver, and I told Julia to meet me in the parking lot in 30 minutes. I went upstairs, changed, and went down. By now it was about 8:00pm, and it had gotten dark. Julia came out, and we started walking toward the car.

Suddenly, a pair of headlights came on and started coming toward us. "What's that?" I asked.

It turned out to be the limo driver. Julia looked at me, quizzingly, and I explained that when I got the limo I got a block of time, and we still had some left, so why not take the limo for some yogurt? She just smiled up at me, and off we went.

Everyone was staring at us as we got out, and we loved every minute of it. We sat there, enjoying our yogurt, me pistachio, her chocolate-strawberry swirl. Eventually, it was time to leave. But first, I said to her "Let me go settle with the driver, then we can figure out what to do." So I walked out to talk to the chauffeur.

I came back into the place, and told her that we actually still had about 30 minutes left, so he said he could just drive us around if we wanted. She gave me a big smile and a nod of her head, and with that, we left the yogurt place to additional stares, climbed back into our limo, and drove off.

I told the driver to just go wherever he wanted, but not to stray to far from campus. He said "Ok" and he put the divider up between us.

About 30 minutes later, the limo stopped, and I told Julia we had to get out. The door opened, Julia stepped out, and was greeted by the garden entrance of the Trumbull Marriot Hotel.

"Where are we?" she asked. I figured it was obvious, but I told her the Trumbull Marriot.

"What is going on?" I told her to just follow me.

We walked into the hotel, into the lobby, past the front desk, and down the hall.

"Brian!! We're going to get in trouble!"

"Just trust me."

We walked on down the hall, stopped at a door, I pulled a key from my pocket, and opened the door.

Now, inside there were two dozen carnations, twelve white and twelve red A table set up with two bottles of wine, one white and one red, and some breadsticks. A TV and VCR with Cinderella and Pretty Woman. A box from Victoria's Secret with some silk pajamas in there for her. A bag of personal belongings put together by her roommate. Julia had always told me "The way to my heart is through Godiva chocolates," so there was a large box of Godiva chocolates on the bed.

Julia was a huge Ansel Adams fan. You know, the black and white nature photography? She always told me about this one picture called Oak Tree, Snowstorm which was her favorite, but I had never seen it.

As she walked into the room, unable to comprehend everything that was before her, she looked up on the wall at a picture hanging there.

"Brian! That's it! That's the Ansel Adams picture!"

"What are you talking about? What picture?"

"The one I keep telling you about!! The Oak Tree one. That's it, over on the wall!"

I replied simply "Happy Anniversary."

After a long hug and a few kisses, I walked downstairs to FINALLY pay the driver, as she used the time to call all her friends, who knew everything about it of course.

I returned to the room, and we sat at the table, drinking wine, and staring into each other's eyes.

As long as I live, I swear to all of you, I will always remember that look on her face. I was saying something to her, probably some dumb joke, and I don't think she heard a word. She just looked at me, with a little smile, as if to say "I can't believe you did this."

We finished our drinks, changed, got into bed, and we watched Cinderella. We went to bed, innocently, awoke the next morning and returned to campus to resume studying for finals.

Well, that's it. That's my story of my best date. Told you it was long. But it is a good story, don't you think? I hope you were able to read it all, and that you enjoyed it. I certainly enjoy telling it.

Have a great day. I've got to get to writing that letter to Julia.

-b
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Author: skibum73 Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3796 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/25/2000 9:47 PM
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I am a guy and I *almost* cried. That has to be the best date that I have ever heard about. What in the world did you ever do to that girl? After a date like that I would think she would be putty in your arms for many, many years.

If that does not get at least twenty recs I would be suprised!!

~Mark

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Author: jaguardeer One star, 50 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3817 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/26/2000 12:08 AM
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wow

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Author: subBonic One star, 50 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3822 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/26/2000 12:29 AM
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I hereby award Durnib the Congressional Medal of Honor in Dating.

sub

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Author: yef Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3823 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/26/2000 12:33 AM
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I hereby award Durnib the Congressional Medal of Honor in Dating.

Hehe. I think we all deserve a few Purple Hearts, too. Hey, some of us might have even committed some War Crimes.

yef
(Saving new thread ideas for Monday morning)

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Author: TMFJedi Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3858 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/26/2000 12:13 PM
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Wow.

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Author: stivare Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3861 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/26/2000 12:16 PM
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I am not a romantic type, but this story got me Tickling.

Sudheer


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Author: yef Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3883 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/26/2000 1:09 PM
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I am not a romantic type, but this story got me Tickling.

Tickling eh, is that what they call it in your country.

Where are you from Sudheer btw?



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Author: stivare Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3889 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/26/2000 1:28 PM
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Tickling eh, is that what they call it in your country.

Where are you from Sudheer btw?

Tickling explained....
Take a two year old baby you love. Make it sleep on its back. Hold its hands over its head so that it can not resist you. Then wiggle your first two fingers before her eyes till she starts laughing. Then do the same movements on her tummy or armpits or throat with your fingers untill she is laughing uncontrollably.

The feeling of that girl I refer as tickling. Actual word might be different.

I am from India BTW

Sudheer

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Author: Camille9847 Two stars, 250 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3899 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/26/2000 2:34 PM
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Whoa. That's something else, alright. Keep the romanticism, but dump the idiocy that broke you two up--and you are going to be one He!! of a catch!

Camille

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Author: babsc Three stars, 500 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3904 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/26/2000 2:50 PM
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Are you availble for lessons?

I've defintly got to get my BF and other male freinds some lessons. So where do I send them!

Babsc

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Author: syther Three stars, 500 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3953 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/26/2000 7:18 PM
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If that does not get at least twenty recs I would be suprised!!

After my rec..it was 22!!

After reading...I was wishing you were gay!!!!!

Syther
<wishing my BF was like you>

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Author: Durnib Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3968 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/26/2000 10:31 PM
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What in the world did you ever do to that girl? After a date like that I would think she would be putty in your arms for many, many years.

Well, rest assured I never cheated on her and I never hit her. In fact, it is not so much what I did to her as it is what I did not do.

I don't mean to be mysterious or vague, but something happened in October of my senior year of college. And I fell into a deep depression. I felt less and less like a man. I became extrememly insecure about myself, and I couldn't believe she would love me. I "knew" she didn't love me. So I pushed her away. I stopped being a man, and I started being a guy. I acted like I didn't care about her.

Silent Bob in Chasing Amy:

It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. In that moment, I felt small, like I lacked experience, like I'd never be enough for her or something like that, you know what I'm saying? But what I did not get: she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy any more. She was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I figured this all out, it was too late. She had moved on. And all I had to show for it was some foolish pride which gave way to regret. She was the girl. I know that now. But (lights a cigarette) I pushed her away. (pause) So I spend every day since then chasing Amy. (pause) So to speak.

When she finally had enough of my bull, she called me on it. And gave me a chance to change, to be a man like I once was. But I told her no. And that's how it ended.

And I want the chance, now, 6 years later, to apologize to her. To tell her I was wrong. She meant so much to me, and I should have made her feel that way, instead of making her feel unwanted.

Life would be so much easier if we knew the consequences of our actions before hand.

-b









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Author: skibum73 Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3973 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/26/2000 11:16 PM
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Life would be so much easier if we knew the consequences of our actions before hand.

I can only recommend a post three times (doppels are great) but if I could I would rec that response three hundred!!

Your honesty with the board is inspiring. It seems as though you have found the error in you ways and moved on. I hope one day she finds it in her heart to forgive you.

As for the above quote, figure out a way to accomplish that and you won't need TMF anymore.

~Mark

--That is the best scene in "Chasing Amy", but I am still partial to "Mallrats"....

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Author: yef Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3977 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/27/2000 12:12 AM
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Life would be so much easier if we knew the consequences of our actions before hand.

As for the above quote, figure out a way to accomplish that and you won't need TMF anymore.


Now that's a scary thought. I'll accept market risk if I still have He/She to come back to.

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Author: JeanDavid Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3991 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/27/2000 8:12 AM
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I don't mean to be mysterious or vague, but something happened in October of my senior year of college. And I fell into a deep depression. I felt less and less like a man. I became extrememly insecure about myself, and I couldn't believe she would love me. I "knew" she didn't love me. So I pushed her away. I stopped being a man, and I started being a guy. I acted like I didn't care about her.

...

When she finally had enough of my bull, she called me on it. And gave me a chance to change, to be a man like I once was. But I told her no. And that's how it ended.

And I want the chance, now, 6 years later, to apologize to her. To tell her I was wrong. She meant so much to me, and I should have made her feel that way, instead of making her feel unwanted.

Life would be so much easier if we knew the consequences of our actions before hand.


First of all, having been treated for serious depression, I sympathize entirely with what happened. I think, though, that you are being too hard on yourself. When that depressed, having people telling you to "snap out of it," reciting all your positive characteristics, etc., does no good at all. Even if you know (on an intellectual level) the consequences of your actions, you are quite incapable of acting differently. You just must take care of the depression first.

But even if you do that, it then takes a lot of re-education to rebuild self-esteem and undo the behavior patterns that got you into the depression in the first place.

While I have no problem with your desire to apologize to her, if you can do so in good faith and not as a manipulation, the rest of your saying "I want the chance, now, 6 years later, to apologize to her. To tell her I was wrong. She meant so much to me, and I should have made her feel that way, instead of making her feel unwanted." gives me misgivings. It sounds neurotic to me and you may wish to do something about that. I hope they do not pull this post for my saying that, since I mean it in a helpful way (whether it helps you or not), not as abuse.

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Author: Durnib Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3993 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/27/2000 9:24 AM
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It sounds neurotic to me and you may wish to do something about that. I hope they do not pull this post for my saying that, since I mean it in a helpful way (whether it helps you or not), not as abuse.

I certainly don't take it as abuse. In fact, I'm surprised more people didn't post this.

But you should understand that not everything can be expressed clearly via these boards. Things can be misunderstood when taken out of context.

Are you familiar with the 12 step programs? I think it is step 8 or 9, but one of them is "apologize to those you have wronged." And that is really all this is.

She has moved on, as have I. I just want to say thank you, and I'm sorry, and that's it. She is a different person now than she was when I knew her. I am also different. But I still want to let her know she had a positive influence on me.

Thanks for your comments. They are helpful.

-b

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Author: Want2Bfree Two stars, 250 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3994 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/27/2000 9:49 AM
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b wrote, "Life would be so much easier if we knew the consequences of our actions before hand."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah, then it wouldn't be life but something else. If everything was known in advance, life would become dull. Imagine if you knew exactly how that trip was going to turn out, exactly how your lover would glow in response to your touch, exactly how every moment of your life would impact the next, etc. etc. Why bother doing anything? Wouldn't perfection be endlessly dull?

Didn't someone once say that anyone who could really, honestly, 100% all-the-time, predict the future correctly should be killed at once?

Want2Bfree

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Author: JeanDavid Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3995 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/27/2000 9:55 AM
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you should understand that not everything can be expressed clearly via these boards. Things can be misunderstood when taken out of context.

I certainly do. I tend to make my posts too long in an (futile) attempt to overcome this by trying to establish more context than people wish to know. Of course, I have the same trouble in face-to-face communication as well.

Are you familiar with the 12 step programs? I think it is step 8 or 9, but one of them is "apologize to those you have wronged." And that is really all this is.

I am aware of them (a few of my friends are in AA), but have not been a part of them. Only the 11-step and 13-step programs here at The Motley Fool. ;-)

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Author: JeanDavid Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3996 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/27/2000 9:57 AM
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Didn't someone once say that anyone who could really, honestly, 100% all-the-time, predict the future correctly should be killed at once?

Cassandra had a problem with that.

I think killing such a person would be unnecessary; such a person would probably kill himself after a little while.

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Author: NeedAName Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3998 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/27/2000 10:09 AM
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--That is the best scene in "Chasing Amy", but I am still partial to "Mallrats"....

I second the thought, especially the DVD Mallrats with the extra hour... some of those lines make so much more sense now!! ;)

-Scott

(responding to tag lines more often than posts since 1902)

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Author: TMFJedi Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4019 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/27/2000 12:10 PM
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As for the above quote, figure out a way to accomplish that and you won't need TMF anymore.

Now that's a scary thought. I'll accept market risk if I still have He/She to come back to.

Well, ya know, we could always morph into a self-help website. ;-)

Kaiti


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Author: yef Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4034 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/27/2000 12:40 PM
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Are you familiar with the 12 step programs? I think it is step 8 or 9, but one of them is "apologize to those you have wronged." And that is really all this is.

You're an alcoholic?? Well why didn't you tell us!

yef
(adding levity since 1902)



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Author: yef Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4035 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/27/2000 12:41 PM
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Didn't someone once say that anyone who could really, honestly, 100% all-the-time, predict the future correctly should be killed at once?

Haha. Reminds me of the "Guess they didn't see that one coming joke", when the psychic friends network went bankrupt.



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Author: JeanDavid Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4039 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/27/2000 12:47 PM
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Well, ya know, we could always morph into a self-help website. ;-)

It is that already. All over. Not just this folder. I am not even kidding this time.

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Author: Durnib Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4046 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 6/27/2000 1:03 PM
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Wouldn't perfection be endlessly dull?

Ever come across the following essay?:


What if?

What if life were perfect?

What if you lived in a perfect world of perfect people and perfect
possessions, with everyone and everything doing the perfect thing at the
perfect time?

What if you had everything you wanted, and only what you wanted, exactly as
you wanted, precisely when you wanted it?

What if, after luxuriating in this perfect world for the perfect length of
time, you started feeling uneasy about the predictability of perfection?

What if, after a perfect length of additional time, you began thinking,
"There seems to be a lack of risk, adventure and fun in perfection. 'Having
it my way' all the time is starting to get dull."

What if, after yet another perfect length of time, you decided, "Perfection
is a perfect bore."

What if, at that point in your perfect world, you noticed for the first time
a button marked, "Surprise."

What if you walked over, considered all that might be contained in the
concept of 'Surprise,' decided, "Anything's better than perfect boredom,"
took a deep breath, pushed the button....

....

....

....

....

.... and found yourself where you are right now - feeling what you're
feeling now, thinking what you're thinking now, with everything in your life
precisely the way it is now - reading this post.

-b

PS. I think it was written by Peter McWilliams.





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Author: DurnibIII Two stars, 250 posts CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 44373 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 4/13/2008 7:58 PM
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Where have the days of my youth gone?

-b, fondly remembering that story of 15 years ago.

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Author: KayGee70 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 44374 of 44390
Subject: Re: Newer, cleaner, post Date: 4/15/2008 2:31 PM
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-b, fondly remembering that story of 15 years ago.

That was a nice story. Thanks for resurrecting it.

- KG

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