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My in-laws are coming up this weekend and staying at our house because it is the corporate invention called Mother's Day. I predict it will be the first and last time they stay at our house instead of with other relatives or at a motel, for the following reasons.

1. The cat. They're anti-pet, and he's friendly.

2. Our guest bed is a rock-hard futon. Hey, it's too hard even for us, and we live by the futon. Unfortunately my in-laws are Scandinavian, not Japanese, which means we'll probably be going to a supper club for dinner instead anywhere where there is a danger of the food having flavor.

3. We're taking them to see a local production of an Irish play, which stars Juliewinter, and in which there is Irish-style swearing. It's a community theatre production, so it's not like it's controversial or anything, but I'm sure that they'll freak. However, my parents will be there too, and even though I want to kill my parents and hide the bodies on a daily basis, I will say this about them: they are easy as pie when it comes to dining and entertainment (Julie's in a show? Oh boy. Eat at India Palace? You bet.). The trick here is, in-laws will see my parents enjoying the play, and they will Scandinavian themselves into pretending they enjoy it, too. Heh heh.

4. Years ago, before my boyfriend John got promoted to husband, we were visiting the in-laws in their immaculate suburban home, and MIL was talking about one of her DILs, Joanie. MIL said that Betsy's (daughter) and Cindy's (DIL) homes were always clean and neat, but that "Joanie, well, I guess housekeeping is just not her thing."

Now, can you guess what Joanie has that Cindy and Betsy do not? I'll give you a hint. It's a one-syllable word that starts with the letter "J" and ends with the letter "B" and the middle letter is an "O." At the time I thought, sh*t, is she ever in for a surprise if I end up married to her son. Come to think of it, if they visit my parents house they're going to be in for a big surprise too, since we're all genetically programmed to prioritize housework rather low on the charts.

Oh well. I'm working at the radio station this Sunday morning so at least I won't be forced to attend church with them.

heathen, barren, pig, etc.
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