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Author: americanray Big red star, 1000 posts Top Recommended Fools Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 166262  
Subject: Note from HR... Date: 11/15/2012 2:52 PM
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In the past employees were permitted to make trips to the toilet under informal guidelines.

Effective immediately, a toilet policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee's toilet time, thereby ensuring equal toilet time for all employees.

Under the policy a "TOILET TRIP BANK" will be established for each employee. On the first day of each month, employees will be given twenty toilet trip credits. These credits may be accumulated!

Within two weeks, the entrance doors to all toilets are to be equipped with personnel Identification Electronic Stations (PIES) and computer linked with voice print recognition devices.

Before the end of the month each employee must provide two (2) copies of his/her voice prints, one normal and one under stress, to the personnel department. The voice print recognition stations will be operational but not restrictive for the rest of the month. When installed, employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during this commissioning period.

If and employee's toilet trip bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the toilet will not unlock for that employee until the first of the next month.

In addition, all toilet bowls are being equipped with timed paper roll re-tractors.

If the toilet is occupied for more than three (3) minutes, an alarm sounds, the roll of paper will retract into the dispenser, the toilet will flush and the toilet door will open.

If the toilet remains occupied, your picture will be taken.
The picture will be posted on the noticeboard. Anyone whose picture appears any more than three (3) times will have cause for instant dismissal.

If you have any questions regarding this policy, please discuss with your personnel officer
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Author: Jacketfan Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 156858 of 166262
Subject: Re: Note from HR... Date: 11/15/2012 3:40 PM
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On a related note, one of my kids' 8th grade teachers gave extra credit each quarter based on NOT going to the bathroom during her class. Not surprisingly, the kids wouldn't go, no matter how urgent. Some funny stories emerged.

v/r
Tom

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Author: telegraph Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 156859 of 166262
Subject: Re: Note from HR... Date: 11/15/2012 4:58 PM
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they'd probably find

a) a lot of broken toilet monitoring equipment

b) toilets full of crap

c) employees taking 'long breaks' to go elsewhere......

d) Employees getting 'sick' and going home early ......from constipation....

Silly......

and of course, a million dollar 'invasion of privacy' lawsuit....

plus of course, someone would sue under the ADA...as having a 'disability' in not being able to go in 3 minutes...and win a $1,000,000 lawsuit against the company.


So there!



t.

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Author: americanray Big red star, 1000 posts Top Recommended Fools Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 156864 of 166262
Subject: Re: Note from HR... Date: 11/15/2012 6:21 PM
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they'd probably find

a) a lot of broken toilet monitoring equipment

b) toilets full of crap

c) employees taking 'long breaks' to go elsewhere......

d) Employees getting 'sick' and going home early ......from constipation....

Silly......

and of course, a million dollar 'invasion of privacy' lawsuit....

plus of course, someone would sue under the ADA...as having a 'disability' in not being able to go in 3 minutes...and win a $1,000,000 lawsuit against the company.


So there!



t.


You appear to not have the ability to perceive or enjoy humor. Perhaps you simply don't understand humor?

Let's try once again....

Elephant joke:

Question: "How do male elephants find female elephants in the tall grass?"
Answer: "Very nice."

Do you get it? That's doubtful since your logic meter would flip off the charts with your answer something like..

Answer: "Once they locate them, and have, assuming no interruptions imposed by natural or man made or induced agencies, and assuming that the bull elephant is still capable of achieving full sexual arousal, and assuming that the female elephant is fertile and remains willing and responsive to this particular male, or bull, elephant's approaches, the experience is generally regarded as having fulfilled its biological imperative, and is therefore satisfactory, though not as subjective experienced as it is in human mating rituals."

With that said, you are funny - in a more than passingly strange way.

By the way, I'm glad that I don't share your sense of humor. If I did, I'd tend to avoid public humor forums at all costs.

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Author: TMFHelical Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Coverage Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 156866 of 166262
Subject: Re: Note from HR... Date: 11/15/2012 7:50 PM
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Question: "How do male elephants find female elephants in the tall grass?"

I thought they listened for the sound of Fox News?

Ralph
Helical Investor

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Author: telegraph Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 156868 of 166262
Subject: Re: Note from HR... Date: 11/15/2012 8:03 PM
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"Question: "How do male elephants find female elephants in the tall grass?""

Follow the giggling of females 'chatting' with each other?



t.

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Author: BobSch Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 156874 of 166262
Subject: Re: Note from HR... Date: 11/16/2012 12:38 PM
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Sounds like something from Snowcrash.

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