No. of Recommendations: 3

You wrote, I hate to say it, but she has told me many times that she can do better than me and that other men would be much more generous with her. I love her dearly and don't want to lose her by calling her bluff. I know in my heart that I am a caring and thougtful husband. Just because I don't see merit in buying her a $9,000 Hermes handbag doesn't mean that I don't love and cherish her. How do I get her to see this?

You don't. You can't. She has to do that for herself. If you can't live with it ... well, let's just say I already know was I'd do in your shoes.

The real question isn't, "Can I change her?" Or, "How can I get her to negotiate?" It's, "Can you live with someone that treats you like this?"

BTW, I'd be seriously worried about her saying things like "... [I] can do better than [you] and that other men would be much more generous ..." It means she either has psychological problems or she's really had offers and seriously regrets turning them down. (Assuming she did.) Sometimes it means both.

My ex-wife has serious mental problems. She said some seriously hurtful things over the years. And no, I wouldn't be surprised to learn she'd looked elsewhere as well. (Not that she could seriously do better than me; but at times she thought she could. :-)

- Joel
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