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Hollywood Squares

Here are some of the actual questions and answers given
on the old Hollywood Squares television game show. This was
back when the show was NOT scripted. If you watched the show
and remember the characters, they are even better...

Q: "If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be
at least how high?"

Charley Weaver A: "Three days of steady drinking should about do it."

Q: "True or false, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years?"

George Goebel A: "Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes..."

Q: "You've been having trouble going to sleep, are you
probably a man or a woman?"

Don Knotts A: "That's what's been keeping me up."

Q: "Which of the five senses tend to diminish as you get older?"

Charley Weaver A: "My sense of decency."

Q: "Why do Hell's Angels wear leather?"

Paul Lynde A: "Because chiffon wrinkles too easily."

Q: "You've just decided to grow strawberries for the first
time, are you going to get any?"

Charley Weaver A: "Of course not. I'm too busy growing strawberries."

Q: "When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his
tail. What will a goose do?"

Paul Lynde A: "It'll make him bark."

Q: "Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more
than one father?"

Paul Lynde A: "Why, that bitch!"

Q: "If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give
birth to?"

Paul Lynde A: "Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark."

Q: "It is the most abused and neglected part of your body,
what is it?"

Paul Lynde A: "Mine may be abused, but is certainly isn't neglected."

Q: "What do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?"

Charley Weaver A: "A divorcee."

Q: "Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife
or an elephant?"

Paul Lynde A: "Who told you about the elephant."

Q: "When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?"

Charley Weaver A: "I'll loan him the car, the rest is up to him."

Q: "Do female frogs croak?"

Paul Lynde A: "Only if you hold their little heads under
water long enough."

Q: "Imagine that you are a child in your mother's womb, can
you detect light?"

Paul Lynde A: "Only during ballet practice."
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