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Awhile back Milli and a few others mentioned they found the dealership stuff interesting.

Folks I tell you what, people who aren't in the retail auto world usually don't believe half the stuff. It's just a peculiar business. Weird things happen.

Anyway, Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Mr and Mrs older-folks from West Virginia were driving thru town, stopped for a break here in the DC area. They're gonna buy an Enclave from their local dealer and wanted to see some colors. They qualify for GM employee pricing.

So of course, we gotta sell them. I get a kick out of schlepping sales from other markets and we do it monthly. Texas and Wyoming are our records so far.

Finally I go in to speak with them. Very old-fashioned fellow. A guy I'd get along with sort of. HATED to leave his home. HATED it. He's not left W-VA for 5 years. Him and his Wife get into an argument about...get this: Wifey LIED to him. Told him she was taking him to the "Lingerie Bowl", which I guess is some chicks playing football scantily clad. Upon arriving at their kid's home in VA....she told him it was just a lie to get him out of the house.

By now, me and Mr Grump have become buddies, talking sports, politics, steak, etc. I go ahead and offer them $1,000 UNDER the Employee Price and asked them to call their "local dealer" to match it. We use my personal cell phone and of course, no match at all.

They're about to say "yes" and I told him "look, you mentioned you've never been to a hockey game. I tell him as part of the deal, I'll TAKE you to a game Friday (we have season tickets). DEAL! The guy was elated.

5:00 pm: Me and a Jedi Inc'er are sitting in our seats at the arena. Up comes 2 young folks....he in his 30's, she early 30's. The young lady says...."Mom wanted me to meet you. Here, talk to her". So MOM tells me "You are such a wonderful young man, I wanted my XXXXXX to meet you, I think you are perfect for each other". WELL HOLY FRACK-OLI i'm thinking. Ok, just be polite and enjoy the game. I casually get out my her pictures....including "HERE'S ME AND MY WIFE, IN VEGAS"...subtle hints about MY WIFE.

The girl is hardly shy. 10 minute into the game....grabbing my arm and hand everytime something happens in the game. (I'm thinking Jesus God, I'm actually being ho'ed out! I was trying to give an old man a night out, and make a sale...and I got bait and switched! How's that for irony) (Also notable, I'm FAT. And Unremarkable looking)

After intermission we get hot dogs and me and my buddy CHANGE SEATS.

The girl starts getting irritated and in mid 2nd period....."YOU'RE LYING. YOU'RE NOT MARRIED. YOU'RE NOT EVEN WEARING A RING".

Truth be told I DON'T wear rings, watches, etc because I don't believe in "showing off" in front of employees, customers, or anyone. I don't need bling-bling so I own a ring, yes. ONLY wear it with my family.

She gets up, gets out of our row and points again loudly "liar! you're not married! there's no ring!". People around me HEAR IT ALL.

Ok, now I feel lower than whale sh*t but lucily, people were sympathetic and laughing. A few other season tix holders said "we've seen you here with your Wife. That girl is nuts!!!"

Only two good things happened tonite:

1.)My Capitals whipped the hot Tampa Bay team, 6-0. FLAWLESS game.

2.)My hot dog was delicious.

Privately, I'm a very boring guy. Always have been. Have NEVER EVER been involved in anything remotely associated with relationship drama, dating drama, girl drama.


By tomorrow, I'll be able to laugh about this.

But weird things happen in this business.

Ok rant over.


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When Life Gives You Lemons
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