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Author: zsimpson Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 6774  
Subject: Re: Gambling addiction. Date: 8/17/2008 5:04 PM
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Ok,I have a "friend" whos wife has what appears to be a gambling addiction. Last winter he told me she confessed to blowing $3500 in the casino,not all at once I assume. So he dealt with it as a good, upright, decent person who loves his wife would. Months pass then just in the last few days he tells me that she has again confessed to blowing $6000 the same way. He explains to me exactly how he feels which is as you can imagine, horrible. The sense of betrayal and treachery must be almost unbearable. Can you imagine having to use the substantial savings you've accrued to pay off this debt, which was on a credit card I might add. Who goes out and literally throws money in the garbage and then on top of that uses a credit card which is in her name to obtain the money? On top of that she tries to get him to feel sorry for her. It worked last time, but now? I don't thint so. Have any fools out there ever experienced this type of a scenario? Now I ask you what should I, err I mean what should he do?

Having been on both sides of it for a different addiction, I can tell you the first thing that any decent counselor or member of an "A" program will tell you is to stop enabling. In your case that means making certain she has little to no way to harm you or the rest of the family. Take her name off the credit cards, or if that isn't possible, pay them off and cancel your part of the account. If you must speak to the credit card companies and tell them you need to make sure she cannot rack up any more debts in your name. If her name is on the house, find out what you have to do to get her name off it. Basically, cut off any funds you have together.

At the same time, get hold of your local Gambler's Anonymous and ask them what other suggestions they have for you. They deal with this on a constant basis and they can help you a lot more than any no name person on the boards.
HTH,
Kathleen
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