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One day, you'll meet a nice girl. Or if you're lucky, a naughty one. And she'll let you kiss her, and you'll forget about all those icky numbers.

In his free time, I picture Loren draped over the couch, playing Angry Birds, while occasionally wiping the orange Cheetos crumbs from his hands onto the food stained Denver Broncos jersey he is wearing. 'Honey Boo Boo' is blaring loudly on the TV.....

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