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Author: nycinsanity One star, 50 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 311074  
Subject: Re: Reconciling Different Money Priorities Date: 8/15/2008 12:02 PM
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One of the things I'm hearing (and it's possible I'm picking up the wrong signals) is that for most of the marriage you have done the heavy lifting in terms of money. You have earned more, and you have made sure that she had things she wanted or needed. You have paid for beautiful home, you paid for the MBA (I understand that they are on the credit cards, and not actually paid for. But it was your income that allowed the two of you to have a high credit limit).

So now she is earning more money. Not more than you, but an excellent income that is more than sufficient. You feel it's her turn to start sharing the load, and you've been sideswiped by her assumption that now that she is earning money she can have lots of stuff.

Is that a reasonable summing up? I understand that there's more to it, and that's only a bare-bones description.

Excellent description. You got it.

But I wanted to ask: when you suggested the amount she could keep, did you make crystal clear that this was a temporary limit until the debt was gone? Or did you assume she understood this? My life is littered with arguments that occurred because two different parties missed signals.

I'm not sure if I was clear enough. we see the counselor again today, so I will try again at that time.
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