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Author: Jeanwa Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 308881  
Subject: Re: Reconciling Different Money Priorities Date: 8/15/2008 12:06 PM
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One of the things I'm hearing (and it's possible I'm picking up the wrong signals) is that for most of the marriage you have done the heavy lifting in terms of money. You have earned more, and you have made sure that she had things she wanted or needed. You have paid for beautiful home, you paid for the MBA (I understand that they are on the credit cards, and not actually paid for. But it was your income that allowed the two of you to have a high credit limit).

Whoa, that's alot of assumptions. They've been together 9 years. We don't know if she worked while he went to school way back when. We do know she may have not wanted the house....or that expensive of a house, since she's willing to sell. Did she go back to school with the assumption that she would have to use her money to help pay for a house she might not have wanted and is not on the deed? Did she know that she would have to "pay back" the school money?

now she is earning more money. Not more than you, but an excellent income that is more than sufficient. You feel it's her turn to start sharing the load, and you've been sideswiped by her assumption that now that she is earning money she can have lots of stuff.

Except for the time in the MBA program, I thought she was contributing? He wanted vacations...she didn't, but they went anyway. He wanted the spendy house...she didn't but he bought it anyway. Yes, it was "his money", but it seems to have all gone his way.

But that's just how I see it. Having two earners with one earning 12X the other is difficult.

But I wanted to ask: when you suggested the amount she could keep, did you make crystal clear that this was a temporary limit until the debt was gone?

Did he say this? It sounded more like he thought her choices were foolish...the amount would not go up.

Jean
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