I've been invited to a "goth" wedding and my fiance and I are flummoxed on the subject of what to wear. I'm not super familiar with the goth thing to begin with--these people dress like rock starts of a certain ilk, I believe?

Weddings are usually light and bright in theme, but the card announcing this one had a picture of an insect on it. I believe these folks are the more benign, mall-goth types (spike bracelets yes, bat blood no)...at least I hope so. It might be sort of Halloweeny. I have no tatoos or piercings. How can I roughen up without feeling (and looking) like a fraud? Just don't want to show up looking like Doris Day at Marilyn Manson's funeral.

I'm thinking stick-on tatoos?

www.buycostumes.com

or

http://moas.atlanta.sca.org/topics/clot.htm


Maybe there is something here for you.

Goth doesn't always mean Black on Black on Even More Black.
It can mean Medieval clothing as well, I think you should
clarify with the friend beforehand.

But after re-reading your post, I think maybe if you get a long black
dress with flared long sleves and maybe not too low v-neck and a choker
you will fit in without having to go all funky and such.

I'd still think about talking to the friend first just to be certain.


EF

Go buy a spike dog collar at a pet store. Use it as a bracelet or necklace. Dark makeup (eyeliner and eyeshadow lipstick) on guys and girls... black painted fingernails... Stick-on tattoos are a must. I went to a Halloween party once where a girl has her boyfriend on a leash... And spray on haircolor. :) Hope this helps :)

Jenn
**all knowing**

I've been invited to a "goth" wedding and my fiance and I are flummoxed on the subject of what to wear.

I would base your clothing choice on your relationship to the bride and groom. If you're friends with them what sort of clothing would you wear when you went to an activity with them? If they're relatives and you're going because a family member thinks it's important, what would they be happy with you wearing? If you would feel ridiculous then don't wear it.

If you go with something black you think you look nice in you'll probably have a fine time.

It sounds like someone told you it was a goth wedding. Do they have any suggestions on what you should wear?

the card announcing this one had a picture of an insect on it.
I have to admit this brings to mind happy marriages of entemologists.

-Megan, who considers weddings social events, not masquerades.

Just wear something in which you feel comfortable and festive. Maybe choose from the darker colors in your wardrobe, but I wouldn't go out of my way to get gothic. After all, the attention should be focused on bride and groom.

"I've been invited to a "goth" wedding and my fiance and I are flummoxed on the subject of what to wear."

That sounds like lots of fun. Wish I had an invite. Try the thrift stores or Home depot for cheap items. The matron of honor, bride or mother of the bride should be able to guide you in how GOTH to get. You could go vampire look or maybe marquis de Sade. If you are not creative then costume rental places are as common as grocery stores. & this is a great time of year to buy a costume, lots of temp. places now.

I have to admit this brings to mind happy marriages of entemologists.

It might not be a theme that the guests have to dress for, either.

One of the women in my cluster told me about her wedding. She and her husband are big fans of Star Trek, but they didn't want to do a full blown ST wedding, because that would have been too geeky, so they just hired 6 Klingons who did the military "bridge" thing when they arrived at the reception--to the complete surprise of most of the guests (LOL!)--one of them hit her on the butt with a Bat'leth as they came in the door.

Then they stayed through the reception eating cake and dancing. She said it was the funniest thing she had ever seen.

I've been to several goth weddings and they were all very tasteful and I assure you that the tatoos and piercings are not needed to attend. The key is to skip the pink/green/lavender fru-fru dress and put on an understated black/brown/navy dress instead. I'm sure there's no requirements to wear spikes or anything unusual.

Basically dark colors and you're good to go, IMO.

Rebecca
p.s. I've got pix, too, so if you need help I can probably pass those on. :)

Wear dark colors instead of the usual bright ones. <G>

Seriously I can understand your problem. Went to a wedding this summer for a friend's son. Now in my circle, weddings usually mean suits or at least coat and tie for most of the guests so took both suit and sport coat with me. Decided on sport coat and tie. Boy did I feel out of place. Not counting the tuxes I think there were maybe a whole 10 jackets on the guests and at least 6 of them had sports shirts under them. Glad I didn't wear the suit. Tho slacks and sport shirts seemed to be the order of the day there were more Hawaiian shirts and shorts than jackets and ties. So if you don't know the local customs it can you can feel conspicuous. I would try to find someone that is invited and knows the procedure and ask them. Wouldn't worry about the tattooes and such but as I said dark clothes would probably be appropriate.

herb

I think you should just be yourself

"Weddings are usually light and bright in theme, but the card announcing this one had a picture of an insect on it. "

I am curious, what insect? Spider, scrab beetle, cockroach? Sounds creative.

I was invited to a medieval wedding a while back. Husband was a character actor and long time member of SAG. Wife was a good friend. Had a blast. Got enough notice to make my costume from pieces of three different thrift store dresses plus brocade ribbon. Came out great. Lots of fun.

I say go and enjoy yourself. Suspend your sense of disbelief. Fantasy & wonder.

Hi Rebecca,
Thanks for your response. I would like to see your pictures, are they online anywhere?

thank you
Kim (reluctantgoddess)
kfrost@devil.com

As an aging "goth before my time", I would just love to go to a goth wedding, in one of my long black dresses, my riding boots and my heavy silver collar-style necklace. I would probably be confused with the mother of the bride.

Incidentally, I agree with the idea of checking with someone involved about expected guest attire.

Go Perky Goth!

http://www.opusgames.com/dorktower/characters.html#Gilly

:-)}

"Go Perky Goth!

http://www.opusgames.com/dorktower/characters.html#Gilly

:-)} "

<geek> Heh. I know the person this is based on. She's really nifty. </geek>

If the invitation requested a specific style, I guess you would want to match that. (The uber-goth wedding I'm helping decorate for in a couple of weeks has requested all black at the ceremony itself, more variety at the reception, and nothing too fetish-y at either place.) Otherwise, go for the expected level of formality, in a darker color. Semi-formal? Black/jeweltone suit. Formal? Black/jeweltone formal.

For specific goth clothing questions, the alt.goth.fashion FAQ is here: http://www.ice-princess.net/gothfash/faq.html

If you're not goth normally, wearing a "goth costume" will make you feel silly and other people snicker. Oh, and fetish wear (collars/bondage-gear/revealing-PVC) at a wedding would seem inappropriate.

--Morfydd

Go Perky Goth!

That's just WRONG!!! No Goth would be seen ALIVE holding a unicorn or a brightly colored flower!!!

Ishtar

Ishtar writes:
That's just WRONG!!! No Goth would be seen ALIVE holding a unicorn or a brightly colored flower!!!

Well, I don't know about that. What if the Goth were holding a dead unicorn as a symbol of innocence slaughtered and a white rose brightly colored with its blood?

Vince

That's just WRONG!!! No Goth would be seen ALIVE holding a unicorn or a brightly colored flower!!!

Indeed, Ishtar! The very thought! Harumph!

ahh.. I wonder who is officiating at a goth wedding,and what in the world she or he would be wearing?!

You folks who have attended a goth wedding, did the priest/Essa, rabbi, pastor, parson or whatever do anything "special"? OR was it a civil ceremony?

Ecclesiastically inquiring minds have to know!

(The mind boggles at what one could do with a goth eucharist. My "camp" side is in a major battle with my "academic theologian" side here, the pastoral sliver is keeping out of this all together!)

Yedith, who was considering going to seminary until she realized she would rather minister to a flock of computers

On the perky goths: they exist and I have the friends to prove it. Though my friends wear lots of black (not white with flowers), they're about the happiest perkiest people on the face of the earth. It's quite frightening, actually. ;)

On the ceremonies of goth weddings: Two I went to had female pastors, both not very religious, but more focusing on two becoming one and supporting each other and the families joining, yadda yadda. The other wedding was performed by a friend (you know you can get ordained on the internet?). That was more earth-friendly, slighty pagan in the sense that they saluted the four corners and spoke of mother earth, etc. All of the ceremonies were wonderful and short, too!

Rebecca

It might not be a theme that the guests have to dress for, either.


There's a good point. A number of years ago I was on a catering job for a theme wedding where the wedding party were all dressed in 18th century attire -- groom and groomsmen in powderwigs and those short pants (whatever they may be called), women in the large hoop-type skirts (ok, I don't know the terminology, but you get the idea). Looked like something out of the "Madness of King George".

The wedding was held at an old mansion on Narragansett Bay in Rhode Island ... an apropos setting. It was actually one of the most formally catered events I've seen -- the service was perfectly timed and placed and we were all wearing formal wear -- white gloves, tails, etc.

The guests, however, were dressed in standard 20th century clothes -- nice dresses and suits.



CPAScott

"That's just WRONG!!! No Goth would be seen ALIVE holding a unicorn or a brightly colored flower!!!"

<pout> Well, actually the prototype collects stuffed rabbits. Does it help that they're Devilbunnies plotting to take over the world?

And when we go shopping, she snags the pastel pink clothes, leaving the hot pink clothes for me...

As far as wedding officiants... I wasn't terribly goth at the time, but my wedding was attended by lots of goths. My marriage was performed by a friend, with the text mostly from the Book of Common Prayer, with some edits for my pagan sensibilities. I wasn't able to go to the sealing of my very-Mormon, uber-goth friend, but the public ceremony afterward was performed by her local clergyman. As far as the ceremony next week, it's being performed by an old friend of the bride, and I believe it's a civil service.

I would imagine most goths, by the time they're mature enough to get married, are also mature enough to want their weddings to reflect their personal values, not mock Christian ones. YMMV.

--Morfydd

...wears black, has laugh lines, collects unicorns...

with some edits for my pagan sensibilities.

did you know that we have a Pagan Fools board here? Consider this an invite!

http://boards.fool.com/Messages.asp?mid=17909882&bid=115362

Ishtar