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* Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy!

* The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!

* You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail

* Friday you set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog.

* Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.

* A guest quotes a Biblical passage from "The Feeding of the 5000."

* That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.

* Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

* You consider gluttony your patriotic duty.
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