Message Font: Serif | Sans-Serif
 
UnThreaded | Threaded | Whole Thread (49) | Ignore Thread Prev Thread | Next Thread
Author: Isabellalapanna Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 7630  
Subject: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/24/2002 12:53 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
Guys are saying there is no way you can have a platonic guy friend and talk shop sex talk explicitly and they are only hanging around and doing this because they want to have sex with you.

I know that this is not true of their extreme perspective that it could only happen because they want to jump you. I also know that I am not the only one of this (maybe the only one around here).

So if you can jump in with your stories/truth of having guy friends that you don't have sex with, but you talk the talk of sex with them, I would appreciate it because they are kind of being morons and I am tired of my solo chorus.

Thanks.
Print the post Back To Top
Author: Bbritts Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4763 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/24/2002 1:37 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
yep, I've got 2 guy friends that I've very close to. The three of us are best friends. Their ages...47 and 38. We have driven across the country together, even drove from Pittsburgh to Mexico.

I have slept in the same bed with them (separately), even showered with one of them...that conserving water thing isn't always true...we were conserving time.

We have always been there for each other, and sex has never been a part of our relationships, and I've known them for the last 20 years.

I would loan them one of my cars at any time, and we have keys to each other's homes.

True platonic stuff.
Barb



Print the post Back To Top
Author: Isabellalapanna Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4764 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/24/2002 1:52 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
So, then my follow up question for both of you is

with these guys, do you dish the sex talk. A la discuss potential pros and cons of a three way, best g-spot positions, funny stories about giving head, etc.

Print the post Back To Top
Author: Bbritts Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4765 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/24/2002 1:54 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 1
I'll admit we've never discussed three way talk. Other talk...best lip usage, etc. has come up.

Print the post Back To Top
Author: Isabellalapanna Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4766 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/24/2002 1:55 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
I'll admit we've never discussed three way talk. Other talk...best lip usage, etc. has come up.

Yeah, I didn't mean specific task discussion of a three way, just that as an example of some sex dish.

The lip thing definitely counts.

Once again, the chicks are right.

Haw!

Print the post Back To Top
Author: Isabellalapanna Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4767 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/24/2002 2:01 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
Also, if any guy is lurking out there and wants to jump in on this with something that is not just "yeah, but they all wanna nail you," I think he should feel free to and know that he won't get girl-gang-banged for posting on FtG.

(It's all about what we want to hear.)

supersecret ps to ick-may, go for it.

Print the post Back To Top
Author: mcbdds Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4768 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/24/2002 2:13 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 1
Also, if any guy is lurking out there and wants to jump in on this with something that is not just "yeah, but they all wanna nail you,

I'm sorry……….what was the question?…………All I can think about is Barb in the shower.

mcb


Print the post Back To Top
Author: mickaelangelo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4769 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/24/2002 2:27 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 2
Also, if any guy is lurking out there and wants to jump in on this with something that is not just "yeah, but they all wanna nail you," I think he should feel free to and know that he won't get girl-gang-banged for posting on FtG.

What kind of fag lurks at a girl's board? Also, so you know, enticing a guy with "you won't get girl-gang-banged" is not usually very effective.

Uh, so OK. Uh, first time caller long time lurker ladies, my question is: when women choose these friendships with males does there need to be a level of attraction? Would a girl be as likely to befriend a guy that she found completely unattractive?

For the record, I have a few female friends and haven't banged any of them.

mick


Print the post Back To Top
Author: Isabellalapanna Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4770 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/24/2002 2:33 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
my question is: when women choose these friendships with males does there need to be a level of attraction? Would a girl be as likely to befriend a guy that she found completely unattractive?

I don't choose friendships with men or women, they happen, you know? But the people I end up being closest to, in a let's go get a beer spontaneous of the moment thing, are usually people where dishing about sex is easy. Men or women.

Of the guys like that, one was a friend I met at work. We had an initial will we have sex or not thing but we didn't. But we were still good friends and went out and would talk sex up and down the room, each of us saying, what about this and what about that. And you realize that there aren't lines drawn so clearly by gender as much as just personal preference of individuals. The other one is an ex and he is the one I hang with the most (which is hardly ever lately), but I have to say that we don't talk sex as much as we used to. Maybe because I seem to be on a hiatus, plus we have already pretty much covered everything. But not too. I went out with him and a friend of his (also male) on halloween and we dished a ton of stuff. Too bad I can't remember any of it.

So, of them, there was some attraction at some point. Acting on it or not was completely separate from the friendships I ended up having with both of them.


Print the post Back To Top
Author: mickaelangelo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4771 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/24/2002 2:42 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 1
I don't choose friendships with men or women, they happen, you know?

Yes and no. Isn't there some level of choice here? This is like saying you don't choose who you fall in love with. While there may not an actual moment where one says "I choose to love this person" there sure are times when you might say, "this moron is pissing me off and I'm dumping his ass".

mick



Print the post Back To Top
Author: mcbdds Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4772 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/25/2002 12:20 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 2
my question is: when women choose these friendships with males does there need to be a level of attraction? Isabella

Yes, of course…….on some level; intellectual, physical, financial, intuitive, spiritual, social, racial etc.

Would a girl be as likely to befriend a guy that she found completely unattractive? Isabella

No. The very first impression that predicates the formation of a judgment necessary to initiate contact is visual. If this data is negative the odds of further elective interaction is dramatically reduced. The other, secondary factors above can clearly overcome this first impression influence……….and usually 5 beers.

I have 2 female friends, one for 46 years the other for 25 years. The former is nearly platonic, having fooled around as adolescents for approximately 3 hours in 1965………lets see, doing the math………3 hours in 46 years……3 hours out of 402,960…….or 99.93% platonic. It has been a long, rich relationship.

The latter has been 100% platonic.

So, contrary to Hollywood mythology, it can happen and in my view it is not all that rare.

" What kind of fag lurks at a girl's board?" Mick

Thank you, Isabella for a brief hall pass on this esteemed board. Mick is usually right about such matters……..i'm feeling oogie.

mcb


Print the post Back To Top
Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4773 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/25/2002 12:28 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
with these guys, do you dish the sex talk. A la discuss potential pros and cons of a three way, best g-spot positions, funny stories about giving head, etc.

We used to before he got married. Mostly about anal sex, he had a girlfriend for a while that wouldn't take it anywhere but in the butt, and he kept trying to convince me to try it. And ranking the one-nighters, of course.

6

Print the post Back To Top
Author: malibu114 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4774 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/25/2002 11:50 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 1
I have a platonic male friend who I talk about sex with all the time and he doesn't want to jump me. I know this because for the 1st year of our friendship I wanted more and would have been willing. Now 4 years later, we are still just as good of friends, still talk about sex, but never had sex.

Donna

Print the post Back To Top
Author: malibu114 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4775 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/25/2002 11:53 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 1
So, then my follow up question for both of you is

with these guys, do you dish the sex talk. A la discuss potential pros and cons of a three way, best g-spot positions, funny stories about giving head, etc.


Yep, I do with my friend. He probably knows more about what turns me on that my ex BF does.

Donna

Print the post Back To Top
Author: retirecom Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4776 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 9:36 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 1
So if you can jump in with your stories/truth of having guy friends that you don't have sex with, but you talk the talk of sex with them, I would appreciate it because they are kind of being morons and I am tired of my solo chorus.

I have had a few male friends who this happened with but it's been rare when that level of discussion didn't lead to at least petting. Meow.

But to help support your position, yes, I do have sex talk male friends I never had sex with.

* * *

From sofaking:
One of my bestest friends is a guy.

In my lethargic state, when I first read this I read it as "gay" and it reminded me of an old friend from a few years ago. He's gay and had just recently started coming out to his friends. We had talked a lot about sex, life, relationships and one evening just made out. It wasn't so much sexual as just intimate, if that makes any sense.

* * *

From Britts:

I have slept in the same bed with them...

I've done this with guys I never got into the sex talk with and with guys I used to do the sex stuff with but it had ended and not done anything with either. But right now, I can't think of anyone I'd done the sex talk with then slept in the same bed with them and had absolutely nothing happen. Are we going by the appearance of the nipple as when sex begins or do you have another standard?

* * *

RC
slut




Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Print the post Back To Top
Author: retirecom Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4777 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 9:59 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
Mick:
my question is: when women choose these friendships with males does there need to be a level of attraction? Would a girl be as likely to befriend a guy that she found completely unattractive?

I'm not going to say there *has* to be a level of attraction, as it's more about how he presents himself - is he whiney, bitter, angry, etc - those play more of a factor than appearance. However, unless the chemistry of friendship is excessively strong on initial meeeting, then yes, if there is some level of attraction, it can make me more comfortable sooner, which will ultimately pave the way to being closer friends.

Isp:
I don't choose friendships with men or women, they happen, you know? But the people I end up being closest to, in a let's go get a beer spontaneous of the moment thing, are usually people where dishing about sex is easy. Men or women.

Ditto. I think sharing those types of intimate details helps build trust which in turn strengthens the connection and can lead to a closer relationship.

RC

Print the post Back To Top
Author: 1BigBeach Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4778 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 10:45 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
with these guys, do you dish the sex talk. A la discuss potential pros and cons of a three way, best g-spot positions, funny stories about giving head, etc.

I know there's an expert on this topic somewhere, but she must be busy.

Print the post Back To Top
Author: Joelsenior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4779 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 11:53 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 3
Once again, the chicks are right.

Haw! ===================================================



You chicks are only spouting the female side
of the relationship.

Get some guy to post that he has "chick friends".

Joelsenior

ps a non-gay guy

Print the post Back To Top
Author: redsavina Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4780 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 11:56 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 2
I have had platonic male friends and I think it is not only possible to do this, it is essential to one's character. I have shuddered at men or women who have said things like "My boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse WON'T LET ME have opposite sex friends." That is just wrong. And there is something so special and fragile, yet so comfortable, about having a male just-friend.

That said, I have to admit that they've always wanted to jump my bones.
The exception being the just-friends who were married to or committed to another woman who was my friend (in fact now that I think about it, those married ones are probably the most sustainable guy-just-friend friendships, and maybe they are the only sustainable guy-just-friend relationships).

Example #1: I was dating his friend, a mistake. But he and I were inseparable. For years. People to this day think that he and I were a couple. But he secretly wanted to sleep with me. And the most annoying thing was when I would be dating some other guy and he would say, "Gosh, why don't you dump that loser and fall in love with me, heh heh heh?" It was creepy and I ignored him whenever he said this. Because he was ruining the just being friends.

Example #2: We were friends, and he had a lot of gal-just-friends. But he had to eventually try to poke all of them. It was stupid. He wasn't looking for a permanent relationship, but he felt compelled to try to screw every woman he met and was friends with. And if they said no, he would spend the rest of the friendship trying to wheedle a reason why or wheedle a change of mind. After I said "no let's just be platonic friends, okay?" he slept with one of my best friends like the next day (I was relieved, it took the pressure off for a while). Like he had an alphabetical list and he was just going to keep ticking off names until forever. I think I was the only woman in our large circle of friends who he hadn't screwed.

Example #3: We got to be friends and we were both single and it was fun. Eventually, we had the talk about "will we or won't we?" and we both thought about it and we both decided no, let's not ruin this. However, the way he immediately started referring to this decision was "When I decided not to have a relationship with you." I have reminded him that I was equally deciding this, but he insists on revisionist history.

So basically, here are the common traits they are all thinking:

"We are a man and a woman and we don't have sex. It is platonic and meaningful. Of course, I would poke her at the drop of a hat if she would let me. And because she won't let me, there must be something wrong with me. Therefore, I will either secretly hope all her relationships with other men go sour so that she will cry on my shoulder and maybe it will end up with us making out. Or I can find the secret code to make her hot for me. In the meantime, I must pretend that she wanted me bad and I refused her. Yeah. That's the ticket."

I believe in the idea of platonic guy-just-friend relationships, but I'm skeptical.

When all the parties are married, however, it's easy as easy can be, you know. Because you can just relax.



Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Print the post Back To Top
Author: Joelsenior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4781 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 11:57 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 1
For the record, I have a few female friends and haven't banged any of them.

mick
==========================================================

A few follow up questions:

1. Are you single
2. If you could nail them would you


Joelsenior


Print the post Back To Top
Author: Joelsenior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4782 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 11:59 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
"We are a man and a woman and we don't have sex. It is platonic and meaningful. Of course, I would poke her at the drop of a hat if she would let me. And because she won't let me, there must be something wrong with me. Therefore, I will either secretly hope all her relationships with other men go sour so that she will cry on my shoulder and maybe it will end up with us making out. Or I can find the secret code to make her hot for me. In the meantime, I must pretend that she wanted me bad and I refused her. Yeah. That's the ticket."

red


My point exactly
Joelsenior

Print the post Back To Top
Author: JimZipCode Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4783 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 3:51 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
So basically, here are the common traits they are all thinking:
"We are a man and a woman and we don't have sex. It is platonic and meaningful. Of course, I would poke her at the drop of a hat if she would let me. And because she won't let me, there must be something wrong with me. Therefore, I will either secretly hope all her relationships with other men go sour so that she will cry on my shoulder and maybe it will end up with us making out. Or I can find the secret code to make her hot for me. In the meantime, I must pretend that she wanted me bad and I refused her. Yeah. That's the ticket."
I believe in the idea of platonic guy-just-friend relationships, but I'm skeptical.


I think this sort of thing is sustainable when one or the other (preferably both) of the two people are in relationships. It is so nice to be able to touch base with someone of the other gender to talk about "stuff". I have one such friend, we've been friends for about a dozen years. Usually one or the other of us is in a relationship, so the "should we or shouldn't we?" isn't an issue. We've never hooked up, and remain friends. Pretty close friends, actually; there's stuff I can talk about with her that I can't with just about anyone else.

The thing is, I think in most of these cases, if there ever came a time where both people were single and looking for any extended period, they would almost HAVE TO start wondering, "Hey, what about - ?" Probably more frequently with guys than with girls: being really close with someone of the other gender is a quality usually reserved for BF/GF relationships. We start naturally thinking that it just makes sense for us to be together with that girl - after all, we like her SO much, and she's pretty cute. "She'd make a great GF: really, it's fate." But I think this can happen with girls too, where you start looking at the long-term friend a little differently.

I dunno what the "success rate" is of long-term-buds-turned-BF/GF is. Lots of people start out as buds and become a great couple; lots of people ruin a great friendship by sleeping with the person. I dunno which is the more likely outcome.

But without an "inciting scenario", where both people are single for "long enough" to start noticing their friend in a different way - without something like that, these platonic friendships can stay solid and real indefinitely, and be very rewarding. Yet I think all of the platonic-other-gender-just-friend relationships have the potential for one person (uh, probably the guy) to be interested in more, if the circumstances were changed just a little. Sometimes a very, very little.


Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Print the post Back To Top
Author: galagan Big gold star, 5000 posts CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4785 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 5:08 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 6
When all the parties are married, however, it's easy as easy can be, you know. Because you can just relax.

Red -

May your naïveté never be shattered.

dan, divorcé

Print the post Back To Top
Author: mickaelangelo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4786 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 5:21 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 3
A few follow up questions:

1. Are you single
2. If you could nail them would you


Joelsenior



1. No
2. Some yes, some no.

I curse you for asking.

mick

Print the post Back To Top
Author: Joelsenior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4787 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 5:23 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 3
2. Some yes, some no.

I curse you for asking.

mick
==============================================================


Follow up to my follow up
Why do you hang around with no-chicks?

Joelsenior, asking the hard questions

Print the post Back To Top
Author: mickaelangelo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4788 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 5:28 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 3
Follow up to my follow up
Why do you hang around with no-chicks?

Joelsenior, asking the hard questions



Because they're friends of mine and have been for years.

mick

PS- more curses for you and your effing questions






Print the post Back To Top
Author: Joelsenior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4789 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 5:30 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 4
Because they're friends of mine and have been for years.

mick

PS- more curses for you and your effing questions
==============================================================


When you started your "friendship" way back when
did you think about screwing them (the present day no-girls)?

GSJS

ps For the record I have no female friends, but I am currently looking for some. To eventually have sex with, of course

Print the post Back To Top
Author: mickaelangelo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4790 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 5:34 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 2
When you started your "friendship" way back when
did you think about screwing them (the present day no-girls)?

GSJS

ps For the record I have no female friends, but I am currently looking for some. To eventually have sex with, of course



No.

Thank you for limiting your questions to the No-girls - they are much easier to explain than the maybes.

mick

PS - having a couple of platonic female friends can sometimes open the door to banging their friends.


Print the post Back To Top
Author: Isabellalapanna Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4791 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 5:35 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 2
When you started your "friendship" way back when
did you think about screwing them (the present day no-girls)?

GSJS


Do you think about screwing them?

Come on, most people you like it kind of crosses your mind at some point or other. Whether you think of it in a yes I want to way or oh man would that be the worst freaky horrible thing of ever.

Think about it. Of course.

The real question is when you start your friendship, are you doing it because you really just want to have sex with the person and that is a conscious thought.

Like this example:

ps For the record I have no female friends, but I am currently looking for some. To eventually have sex with, of course



Print the post Back To Top
Author: Joelsenior Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4792 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/26/2002 5:44 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 3
The real question is when you start your friendship, are you doing it because you really just want to have sex with the person and that is a conscious thought.

I =================================================


This is the basis of my "chick's cannot really be friends" arguement.
I have never thought that way about any of my male friends

GSJS

Print the post Back To Top
Author: redsavina Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4793 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/27/2002 10:47 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 4
Red -

May your naïveté never be shattered.

dan, divorcé


So just because your wife cheated on you, that makes me naive?

Print the post Back To Top
Author: MissAnthrope Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4794 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/27/2002 6:24 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 1
he had a girlfriend for a while that wouldn't take it anywhere but in the butt

TS! TS!

betcha a buck.

Print the post Back To Top
Author: galagan Big gold star, 5000 posts CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4795 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/27/2002 7:35 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 5
When all the parties are married, however, it's easy as easy can be, you know. Because you can just relax.

So just because your wife cheated on you, that makes me naive?


No - what's naive, in my opinion, is the idea that just because everyone's married, you can relax and assume that a platonic relationship is automatic. It's an idea I shared with you, until it was proven wrong in my case.

I think what I should have said is this: I hope that you are never proven wrong by your spouse. Calling you naive was perhaps insensitive, and if you were insulted by it, I apologize.

dan

Print the post Back To Top
Author: redsavina Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4796 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/27/2002 7:43 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
No - what's naive, in my opinion, is the idea that just because everyone's married, you can relax and assume that a platonic relationship is automatic. It's an idea I shared with you, until it was proven wrong in my case.

I think what I should have said is this: I hope that you are never proven wrong by your spouse. Calling you naive was perhaps insensitive, and if you were insulted by it, I apologize.


You're going to have to call me a lot more than "naive" before I will demand an apology, Dan. No offense taken.

But in my experience, the only friendships I've had with guys where I truly know that the whole sex thing isn't going to ruin it or change it, is when one or both of us has been in a committed relationship with someone else.

Print the post Back To Top
Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4797 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/28/2002 1:37 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
TS! TS!

betcha a buck.


TS?

6

Print the post Back To Top
Author: malibu114 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4798 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/29/2002 12:28 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 1
Hey 6,

Nice balloons!!!!!

Donna

Print the post Back To Top
Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4799 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/29/2002 1:50 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 1
Bouncy bouncy!

6

Print the post Back To Top
Author: JDCRex Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4800 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/29/2002 6:12 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
The real question is when you start your friendship, are you doing it because you really just want to have sex with the person and that is a conscious thought.

That a question asked of the male race in general, or this poster in particular?

'Coz if it's the male race in general, do I have permission to speak?

Print the post Back To Top
Author: TheBullet Big red star, 1000 posts Top Favorite Fools Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4801 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/29/2002 7:50 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 2
I come (for wont of a better word) late to this party. And some real intersting stuff has been said, at least from the posts I've read.

What springs out initially, is how the guys expect one thing from something that is so not there, and how the women don't expect anything, yet things change for better or worse. Coming from a relationship (hetro) where I got to know a woman's viewpoint quite intimately (take your own view on that), I now find it real odd to see/hear guys have this naive take on how women view things. Not that it's a bad thing, don't get me wrong. And likewise, initially, I felt kinda aggrieved when, as a guy 15 years younger than my partner, she so misunderstood me, both stereotypes.

Generally speaking, and my viewpoint has been tainted (for the better) thanks to the relationship, us guys do tend to give off a bad vibe re friendship vs sex wise. We can try as we might to blame it on the hunter/gatherer thing, but in a world of concrete and perfume and 9-5, that's a crap get-out clause. Don't get me wrong, I've done the London scene (hell, even hooked up with my ex at the 5th Floor Harvey Nicks pick-up joint on that basis. But I digress. The point is, as far as I can tell so far, friendship is so much better. If anything comes of it, and it goes further, then fine. But to ruin a friendship because of a drunken moment where boundaries are broken, when those boundaries were known beforehand, then many years of cultivating a friendship with the opposite sex can be undone in seconds.

Or perhaps, I'm simply a boring old fart. As much as I party and shag around when I'm single, when I'm in a relationship, I'm a real honest, trustworthy guy. In fact, when I'm in a relationship, I don't even bother looking elsewhere. Not because I can't, but because, if I'm in a relationship, then I'm devoted to one person only, and for whatever reason, I simply have no interest in other women. Nay even a glance. It just doesn't cross my mind. I'm with someone because I want to be. If there's no commitment, then fine, I'll look if the opportunity presents itself.

But yes, guys and gals can be platonic. But it's got to be because you want it to be. As soon as you get feelings, or urges, is the time to step back and re-evaluate.

Just my 2c.

Bullet


Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Print the post Back To Top
Author: Isabellalapanna Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4802 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/29/2002 8:27 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
But yes, guys and gals can be platonic. But it's got to be because you want it to be. As soon as you get feelings, or urges, is the time to step back and re-evaluate.

Again, I bring it back to my initial question.

Assuming that men and women can be platonic friends (and, yes, we all know that joel has a difficult time with this concept, but that is another thread for another day), can you (bullet or whomsoethever) talk/dish the sex talk with the opposite sex? And you aren't doing it because you think it will increase your odds of having sex with your friend?

I think it is kind of easier to dish the truth of sex shop talk with friends that I have no intention of having sex with than with partners. With friends you don't have to worry about freaking them out with your whatever yak you have that crosses your mind, whereas with a partner you have to be more concerned that s/he is listening as a potential participant and is this going to make him freak out if I say it out loud? I have also learned tons of sex stuff from guy friends that I didn't have sex with. Maybe more from them than from partners.

That said, when with male friends and maybe getting kind of a bit drunk and talking specifics then I do think, hm. This person + that idea = think about it for a minute. But I always immediately follow it up with the thought of "no because (whatever the reason you are friends with him to begin with and not lovers)."

So, of men who say yes to platonic friends of women, can you dish the sex talk without it being a calculated plan to get them in bed?

Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Print the post Back To Top
Author: TheBullet Big red star, 1000 posts Top Favorite Fools Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4803 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/29/2002 9:14 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
So, of men who say yes to platonic friends of women, can you dish the sex talk without it being a calculated plan to get them in bed?

Yes.

Bullet

Print the post Back To Top
Author: malibu114 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4804 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/30/2002 12:34 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 1
That said, when with male friends and maybe getting kind of a bit drunk and talking specifics then I do think, hm. This person + that idea = think about it for a minute. But I always immediately follow it up with the thought of "no because (whatever the reason you are friends with him to begin with and not lovers)."

You just hit the key point. Sure, you might think hmm, but then I remember why we are friends and not more than that.

Donna


Print the post Back To Top
Author: JDCRex Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4805 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/30/2002 6:25 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
So, of men who say yes to platonic friends of women, can you dish the sex talk without it being a calculated plan to get them in bed?

Yes.

But men, being the highly suggestible creatures that we are, sometimes the dishing prompts a few "hey, what if..." questions that may not have been there in the first place, sort of as you've outlined above.

Print the post Back To Top
Author: dcoleman87 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4806 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/30/2002 1:54 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 2
TS?

6


Tera, silly.

D



Print the post Back To Top
Author: JimZipCode Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4807 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/30/2002 2:20 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 1
So, of men who say yes to platonic friends of women, can you dish the sex talk without it being a calculated plan to get them in bed?

Well. I'm not convinced I can do ANYTHING without it being a calculated plan to get them into bed. But, yes. The whole point of having opposite-gender friends is the fun of dishing the sex-and-relationship talk. It's so much more fun to talk about that stuff with chicks than with guys.

Hmm. How graphic are you talking about? Because I'm typically not super-graphic with that kinda talk, with chick or guy friends. Rather more oblique, though I think I get my meaning across. With girlfriends (not friends, I mean people I actually go to bed with), I'm more comfortable being more concrete, along the lines of "I like it when - I'm not quite as interested in" etc. Though come to think of it, I'm not super-graphic in those conversations either.


Print the post Back To Top
Author: TeraGram Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4808 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 12/30/2002 6:12 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
Tera, silly.

Tera is not the answer to 6's question.

- T.


Print the post Back To Top
Author: warizill Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4865 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 1/25/2003 1:00 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 2
When all the parties are married, however, it's easy as easy can be, you know. Because you can just relax.

Revised: When all parties are married, you can always just pretend you're boinking you're friend.

War,

...helpful.



Print the post Back To Top
Author: BigKahoona Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4866 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 1/27/2003 9:54 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
When all the parties are married, however, it's easy as easy can be, you know. Because you can just relax.

Revised: When all parties are married, you can always just pretend you're boinking you're friend.

War,

...helpful.



Yet another reason for chicks to be wary of guys who are into anal.

BK

Print the post Back To Top
Author: warizill Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 4867 of 7630
Subject: Re: platonic guys and sex talk Date: 1/27/2003 12:25 PM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 0
Yet another reason for chicks to be wary of guys who are into anal.

Don't look at me, you're the one who's named after a puckered starfish.

War,

...gave up trying long ago.


Print the post Back To Top
UnThreaded | Threaded | Whole Thread (49) | Ignore Thread Prev Thread | Next Thread
Advertisement