A Foolish Interview with crono151 Add to My Favorite Fools Add to My Penalty Box

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The Fool: Your greatest fear? Any neurotic ones (agoraphobia, triskaidekaphobia, etc.)?
crono151: That I have a secret identical evil twin sister (SIETS) out there who is the reason that I have lint on my coat, missing socks, and can never find anything where I put it, and the only reason I haven't discovered my SIETS is because since she and I look exactly alike, my brain doesn't recognize her as another person different from me and I just go on by her without thinking.
The Fool: Write a poem for us about something financial (no Nantucket references):
crono151: The Surgeon General has determined that reading my poetry causes peoples' brains to explode, so due to my love for all humanity, I kindly deleted my poem. I'm now working for the Defense Department.
The Fool: What's your greatest athletic achievement? Little League champ? Ran a marathon? Did 4 consecutive sit-ups?
crono151: I start my lawn mower with one pull. (Vroom!)
The Fool: Describe the most embarrassing personal moment you'll admit to!
crono151: I was leaving my parents' house late at night after they were asleep, when the effects of drinking too much tea caught up with me. I crept into the bathroom and, without turning on a light, took care of my business. I thought something seemed odd, though, so when I was through, I turned on the bathroom light. To my surprise, a visiting relative had left the toilet lid -- not the seat; the lid -- down. After cleaning that up, I decided not to take things for granted anymore. Now I check the toilet first.
The Fool: Your most heroic moment in life?
crono151: I passed out once, holding a baby pig, without dropping it.

Sure, it may not seem like much to you, but what if it was YOUR baby?
The Fool: Okay Gilligan (or Ginger), you're stuck on a deserted island. What one material possession would you hope to have with you?
crono151: A book on sand castle design?
The Fool: What technology do you wish the world had but doesn't yet?
crono151: The ability to blend plant genes with human ones, so that when we got hungry, we could just grow... say, a banana off our elbow. Hm... that presents a problem, though, because if you are already hungry, how are you going to produce a banana? I guess we'd have to be able to send out roots in order to have the energy with which to grow the banana. Hm... but if you are too hungry to make the banana, wouldn't you be too hungry to make and retract roots?
This idea may need some work.
The Fool: Speak to the dead. You must have something to say. They may be listening.
crono151: GO BACK TO SLEEP!
The Fool: What, in your opinion, are some of life's big mysteries?
crono151: 1. Why is it taking us so long to colonize other planets?

2. Why can't everyone get motion-detector security lights (not mercury vapor lights/sodium vapor lights which stay on all night long) so that when I want to look at the stars, I'll see stars and not the glow from the neighborhood?

3. Why do female cats always have that telltale stomach bulge after they've been spayed? Why can't veterinarians spay the cats WITHOUT slicing through the stomach muscles and making them sag?

4. Why can't we all just get along?
The Fool: Share with us your best money-saving secret -- cutting coupons, sneaking candy into the movies, shopping on Wednesday and pretending you're over 65?
crono151: I believe in spending my money on what is important to me. What is NOT important to me? The weather. Therefore, in the winter my thermostat is set at 55 F (hypothermia level) and in summer, 80 F (heat exhaustion level). I enjoy "roughing it" indoors. You should see the way I do laundry!

Oh, and one more thing... I don't buy designer shampoos and conditioners. My hair does just as good with liquid Tide as with anything else, so why would I pour my money down the drain? If you want to feel special and pampered, buy designer perfumes.
The Fool: What has been your best work experience, and what made it so great?
crono151: I was a volunteer at an acute care psychiatric hospital when I was a senior in college. It was great because I was one of only three sane adults there, and the three of us, and the kids I worked with, were a really terrific group.
The Fool: Did you ever do something as a child that you look back on now and say, 'Wow, I'm lucky even to be alive after that!'
crono151: One day I decided it would be clever to stand at the side of the road and throw rocks at cars.

My mother must have been in a good mood that day, because I am still alive.
The Fool: Does ethics or 'socially responsible investing' have a place in your investment approach? How so? How not?
crono151: Not investing now. However, ethics or "socially responsible buying" has a major impact on my shopping. I don't buy leather goods from Brazil; they flatten their rainforests to raise cows. Not good. I don't buy things from China because of their inexusable human rights record, and do you know how hard it is to find something NOT made in China?
I don't shop at Wal-Mart, because they drive little Mom and Pop stores out of business. I don't shop at Aldi's supermarkets because the owners have a reputation for treating their employees poorly.
I could go on like this all day... I don't buy Diesel or Esprit clothing because I don't like their ads -- ssssomebody ssstop me!
The Fool: What's one of your special talents?
crono151: I can be late for work or other appointments, no matter how early I get up. I believe the secret is in thinking "I have so much extra time, I think I'll just clean the house/put my hair into a particularly intricate style/buy some groceries before I go."
The Fool: What's the best advice you've ever received?
crono151: "Don't marry a forked stick just because it's wearing a pair of pants."

And the best advice I've ever GIVEN was "If the driver is high, get out of the car."
The Fool: What's the one thing you'd MOST like to see The Motley Fool add to our service or improve upon?
crono151: Why, give us money with which to invest, of course! ;)
The Fool: Describe the worst Internet experience you've ever had.
crono151: Ok, so maybe this isn't BAD bad, but it's frustrating. Have you gone to the Lego.com website? I was just there, and I went all OVER that that thing and could not find an Email address for contacting the company about a question regarding their products! Is that stupid, or what? If you don't want Email, don't put up a website!
The Fool: If you could go back in time and witness one event in history, what would you go back and see?
crono151: I'd like to go back to the Garden of Eden... the day before Eve's appearance. I think I'd do a much better job than she did at keeping Adam out of trouble.

Or maybe I'd witness my own birth and see if I could abduct myself, then give the baby me to wolves to raise; see if they'd do a better job than my parents did.
The Fool: Which celebrity or public figure (past or present) do you most look like?
crono151: I have been told I look like some lady in a Kellogg's cereal commercial.
However, since I do not watch TV, I have never seen that commercial. So I have no idea what this bizarre resemblance means, other than the facts that 1. she must be fabulously beautiful, 2. have a marvelous fashion sense, and 3. if I ever flick on the tube, I should be prepared for that nasty shock of recognition you get when you see yourself being recorded without your permission (think, no royalties). Like when you're at an amusement park and they photograph you screaming on the rollercoaster, and that one photograph, widely disseminated in their advertising, influences countless thousands, maybe millions, of paying customers to visit the park, and you haven't been paid a single dime! Just kinda makes you feel like a cheap floozie, don't it?
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