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"The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked."
--Andy Borowitz
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When did the Republicans began to like Jesus? I've not seen any indication that Republicans are the least interested in the gentle, peaceful Galilean.

"The meek shall inherit the Earth" is as adverse to the Republicans as anything you can imagine. So when the sick came to Jesus for healing, Jesus replied "why don't you bums get a job and pay for your own insurance or you can just die".

You will not find the above in the KJV but it is in the New Conservative Bible translation by the Teaparty .
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If you read the quote again, it said "The baby Jesus". I guess Republicans - especially those who espouse Christianity AND support cults like Mormonism -- must think adult Jesus was mistaken about the meek or gathering riches while ignoring the poor. I could respect Republicans who claim to be family values and who are rabid anti abortion if they voted to take care of the babies and children they want brought into the world.

"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least among you, you did not do for me.'" Matthew 25:41-45

'I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.'" Matthew 19:23-24

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." Matthew 6:24

"Then [Jesus] said to them, 'Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.'" Luke 12:15

"For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?" Matthew 16:26
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It's time to watch "Life of Brian" again.

Here's the trailer:

Perhaps the "funniest bit."
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