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Author: bill2975 Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 753835  
Subject: Re: The emotional side of ER Date: 7/26/2000 1:14 PM
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"freeloader"?

What a bunch of horseshit!

The sheer physical, emotional, and intellectual effort and caring that goes into making a family work WAY offsets the financial aspect of it.

My wife and I have been married for 33 years now, and while she has brought in a fraction of the income that I have during our time together, her contribution far outweighs mine (in my opinion, but not necessarily hers).

While our daughter was growing up, my wife worked part-time until junior high days, and then "freeloaded" at home making sure that activities were monitored, support was given, and personal attention and love were available 24/7. I mostly brought in the bucks, with some participation around the house and in family activities. While the teenage years were very difficult, they eventually turned out OK for us, largely because of my wife's efforts, and now my 29 year old daughter is a good person, happy in her life and work, and has a family of her own.

Occasionally, my wife feels badly that she didn't go out and get that big job so we'd have tons of money and spend it here, there, and everywhere, like some of our friends have over the years.

On the other hand, many of them are much less happy with their lives (and their relationships) than we are, and have sadly found that material possessions didn't necessarily bring fulfillment.

If your DH is really concerned about impending layoffs and about your "freeloading", maybe he should accept the layoff, take over the househusband role himself, and see just how much work it is to run a home. After all, now that my wife works about 30 hours a week, she often says that what she also needs is a "wife" to do all the things she used to do when she was home more. :-)

Sorry about the rant, but it really gets me going when people focus solely on money, and don't understand how important relationships, sharing, and personal attention are until it's too late.

Good luck.

bill2975
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