No. of Recommendations: 0
Random thoughts, not always diplomatic, or applicable.

I've been in the same position now 3.5 years, which is a long time for me. I will generally sit at a company a while, but move positions or at least increase scope every few years. This is the longest I've been in one seat in a 20 year career.


In my early 40s, I am tired of starting over. My strong preference would be to stay. I cannot, however, stay in this current situation. Waking up and getting to work is becoming a chore and is unsustainable long term.

Tired of standing still, and tired of starting over. A tough situation.

I had the totally opposite career, 28 years with one company, a minimal number of responsibility changes, and no promotions for the last 20+ years. Because that is what I wanted, to be a worker-bee not a boss. However it gave me a ring-side seat to observe the coming and going of the high-fliers. The best of them groomed their own replacements and demonstrated that they were ready to move up (or away). The worst paid little attention to the people under them and the work they were doing (until they needed a scapegoat). I wonder if your (presumed) subordinates would regret your departure, outward or upward, or celebrate it.

I wonder if your current employer understood your expectations when they hired you. For that matter, I wonder if you understood them, or had thought of them, when the issue had never really come up before.

I wonder if your prospective employer understands your expectation of being constantly on the move. Have you talked to them about it?

You mention your boss, but nobody higher. One thing I learned, the hard way of course, is that it is vital to have a relationship with your boss's boss. Your direct boss is responsible for you doing your job, and only secondarily in your advancement. Somewhere higher in the tree is (should be) someone with a broader view of the world.

I see two alternatives, both have been mentioned already. One, take the new job. That is the simplest, but you also want to stay. Two, get an immediate meeting with both your boss and his (her?) boss, and lay out the problem as you see it. Challenge them to give you the new opportunities you expect. Do not mention the offer. The chances of that working are slim, but if you are resolved to get out of the current situation you must do something. If they don't want to deal, you need to leave anyway. While it is confrontational, it is not as confrontational as using the I-have-an-offer card, which leaves you as a marked man even if you get what you want from them.
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When Life Gives You Lemons
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