No. of Recommendations: 2
RE: "Usually when adult children finally, really accept the fact that their parent is not behaving like a parent, it becomes an emotional loss, much like death. When we finally accepted the limitations of our problem parent, we all sobbed. It was as a death. Yes, death of the idea that one ever had an adult parent and sorrow for what should have been given to the children but wasn't, because the parent wasn't capable of giving, of understanding, of being mature. But once this is accepted, one no longer needs to become angry with the parent, one accepts the fact that the parent is thinking and acting as a child. And one then acts for one's own good (and for the good of the child parent) without feeling guilty."

Well said ... very well said.

I've recently gone through this process regarding my mother. It was difficult, but it has really helped. Life is hurtful for the children of narcissists but, once you realize that it's a personality flaw within them that existed before you were ever thought of and that no one can ever change, it becomes easier to live with.

Best of luck in doing the same.

regards, redhed
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