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Author: nycinsanity One star, 50 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 308881  
Subject: Reconciling Different Money Priorities Date: 8/14/2008 11:28 AM
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After a long talk with DW last night, I've realized that we have pretty different money personalities and that's been causing some conflict, has set back our debt repayment, and has contributed to our debt accumulation.

In general, I tend to be the one more concerned about saving and think that we should lead a modest lifestyle. She, on the other hand, thinks that I overdo it, that we live substantially worse than our friends, and that we should "enjoy life while we're young." Looking back, this was a big driver of our debt accumulation. She insisted that we needed to furnish our new house and that we do so at B&B Italia, etc, which resulted in nearly $100k of card debt.

Now, she thinks that our budget is too restrictive and that she needs to be able to spend more freely. Accordingly, she has proposed that we free up $2,000 per month for her to have as personal spending money to spend however she pleases. Frankly, I think that is absurd. It's a ton of money considering that all it is supposed to cover is her clothing, massages, manicures, going out with friends, etc. I've told her this and asked her to compromise, but she has been adament about it. I explained to her that this would set our debt repayment back by 3 months and require me to find another balance transfer or otherwise to incur reasonably high interest rates, but she seemed to think these were reasonable sacrifices.

I'm at my wits end. I hate arguing with DW, I want to make her happy, and I love her dearly, but I think this is nuts. I've told her that if she insists on this, I will be deeply unhappy, but she wants to have her cake and eat it too: she wants both (1) for me to agree to it and (2) for me to be happy about it. Agreeing to an allowance like this is hard enough, but I'm really considering it. To ask for me to be happy about it in addition seems unreasonable. I'm stuck. I don't know what to do and this is causing a ton of stress for me. Any suggestions?
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