Remember, you're a small cog in the big machine that *can* help her. My track record with Soldiers who use is pretty bad, despite all the effort I put into it. Most end up using again and had to be separated. One I put in 28 day in-patient promptly got drunk again, broke his restraining order, and fought with the cops when they responded. I sent him to the pen for seven months. Don't know what happened after that. Some get it. Some perservere. I saw one of that select group last month when I went back to see a change of command for my successor's successor taking over at Combat Camera, and it was good to see him upright, lucid, and looking like he had it together. Probably two that can't recover and spiral into the gutter for every one that makes it. And I could command refer them to treatment, as in if you don't go, I call the MPs. And as their commander, I was probably the largest authority figure they faced. And they all went through basic training and such so had at least a baseline of discipline and professionalism.It's hard, hard work, and requires a huge team - both physical and mental health docs, lawyers, counselors, friends, bad cop friends, etc - and in that team the most important member is the individual. They have to have at least a kernel of motivation to change. Then they have to have the fortune/serendipity to be out of the bad situations and avoid temptation of relapse.
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