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My mother-in-law and father-in-law are in their 80's. They need a care giver. They have been living with my wife and children for last six months. Grandma is in a wheel chair. Grandpa can barely take care of himself, but they both want to go back to their own home. We are all pretty poor. Grandma and Grandpa have almost no money in bank. Only income is Social Security and a tiny pension.

They own their own home. Estimated value is $200,000.00.
Estimated cost for care giver is $2,500.00 per month.

We have been look into Reverse Mortgage for them. We think this is the ideal solution if they want to live in their own home. Home Equity loan and HELOC (Home Equity Line Of Credit) have also been suggested by others. We have a general knowledge of all 3, but we are not financial experts. We are learning that reverse mortgage will have expenses, including closing costs. Expenses may be thousands of dollars.

What do you think? Which way should we go? What are your experiences or thoughts with this situation? Any help is appreciated.

I refuse to be negative, both both grandparents are in bad shape, and we are guessing they will both live no longer than 5 years. Hope they live 105 years, but we have to try to be realistic.

Believe it or not, I am in favor of trying to convince them to stay with us. It has been a big adjustment for everybody (including our 2 teenage kids). However, they want to go back home. I respect them, but I am not sure if it is safest and most economical route. Thanks.
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I've looked into Reverse Mortgages for myself and found them to be prohibitively expensive for what I'd receive each month. In my case, based on a house value of $450,000. I'd receive less than $200. per month and the cost would be between $13,000. and $17,000. which could be folded into the loan so that there would be no up front costs at all. Age is a factor, as well.

It doesn't cost anything to get info, and you can usually get this easily via telephone, so I'd call a couple of places (banks) that do reverse mortgages. AARP has a lot of info. online.

How much could your folks get if they sold their house and moved into an assisted living home? Or moved into your home and hired help? It isn't easy to get live-in help that you are happy with, my SIL and Brother are dealing with this now...they're on there third person now, and quite happy with her. Your community should have an Elder Care division in the govt. Try calling around to your County or City information offices. The more information you have, the better prepared your family and your inlaws will be to make the best choice.

Good luck! And please let us know what you find out.

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