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Right now I am trying to find some Pdocs in my area that deal with ADHD. I do not want to go to my gp as he lost my trust last year. (I know I need to just find a new one. I have issues doing that, too)

I could not imagine trying to get help with this through a general practing medical doctor. They would be very limited in experience and very limited in treatment options. My physiatrist deals all day long with ADHD, depression, anxiety, bi-polar and more extreme disorders. btw- He works with a psychologist - so, I do not just get meds... but, also lots of help working out systems to deal with it, getting family members to understand it and get to work-out my emotions in dealing with it. He has all the tests, research, latest med info and continues to publish papers. I would strongly encourage you to see a physiatrist with experience. This will help with not only diagnosing ADHD but also other disorders (maybe you have general depression or manic depression as well).

It seems like you are having a difficult time getting help, facing some fears and so on. Please get a diagnosis asap. Life is so much better when you know exactly what you are up against. The test is rather subjective (written test) and an experienced physiatrist will need to ask follow-up questions if you do not clearly score as ADHD. He will be able to tell you which traits of ADHD are strongest in you.

In my case it was difficult for my doctor to convince me I had it. I argued with him a little. Then he pointed out many problems I was having and then I said "you got meds to fix those problems - I am in". It was a huge change in the quality of my life.

I'd really like to hear more for folks who have learned to deal with and use it in their lives.

Oh man. I could write a short novel on how many problems this has caused and how many "systems" I have in place to keep me on track. Let me just highlight 3:

1. "Doing what is interesting and not important" - that would be a huge part of the reason that I am $100k in debt. Budgets, paying bills and so on are very boring. It is extremely difficult and many people will just conclude that I am making it up, being lazy or whatever. But, I will actualy see debt growing, money problems and have the very best intentions to deal with these very important issues. I get side-tracked on something more interesting to me and another month will go by where I have a 3 hour panic at the end of the month about bills, a budget that will not balance and I would swear: "this is the last month - this is hell - this is stupid - I have the money - I just need to keep on top of this".... next month... same thing happens.

For #1 - meds + many e-mail reminders + post it notes + MS Money alerts

2. "Hyper-Focus" / OCD - loosing track of time, focusing on a task for 4, 8, 16, 24, 36 hrs straight. I forget to eat, I forget to-do a bunch of other important day to day tasks. This is also what leads to spending $10k on a bath-room remodel when it was just suppose to be a toilet repair or replacement trip to Home Depot. Some "perfectionist" qualities are in here as well (traits of the OCD or "H" part of ADHD).

For #2 - meds + many calendar and watch alerts and DW telling me "you are doing it again"

3. "Not staying engaged in boring or daily tasks" - this is the part where DW or anyone starts making small talk about nothing special and I "check-out". This is really bad for a relationship. This is also difficult to complete boring tasks and I get accused of procrastination or being lazy.

For #3 - meds + techniques to repeat back what is being said + techniques to think about how important and interesting the problems are going to cause if not addressed.

Example: that includes #1 - #3 = DW calls at work to remind me to attend some boring social event after work. I say ok. Manager asks me to complete a simple task before leaving from work today. I say ok. I get very interested, "hyper-focused" on an interesting task or problem to solve and after hours I get reminders from DW & Manager. I say ok and see that I only have a couple hours to complete tasks and leave for the event... "right after I finish this problem I am working on - which is just about completed". A few more reminders from manager and DW finally get me to stop my interesting problem solving, complete the task at work with poor quality, leave to the event way too late, arrive late, forget to bring something DW asked me to bring and then spend most of the time at the event (party for example) thinking about that problem that I have not completed yet instead of engaging in conversation. After the party I go straight to the computer at home to finish the problem - even if it takes me late into the night.

Meds just give me the option or opportunity to select what I focus on or work on. I still need lots of systems, reminders, alerts, to-do lists and techniques to break-out of my mode and evaluate what I need to-do.

btw- I think this is different than another sub-type of ADHD in which the person feels overwhelmed with many tasks, tries franticaly to multi-task and just keeps spinning their wheels not making much progress on any one task. This is also different from the trait of the person who just gives up trying to focus on anything and either gets depressed or acts very hyper. These traits (as I understand) are more common than my traits in the typical ADHD person.

Maybe, we can start a thread more focused on one area in the future: "How do you manage you finances with ADHD?"

best of luck to all
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