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Author: hotfool Big red star, 1000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 86572  
Subject: Rules for the ER.......... Date: 11/11/1999 1:20 AM
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Children,

It's 1 am and Uncle Jeffy is sitting in front of his computer after a horrific day in the emergency room, sipping on his Icehouse (so it's my third, but who's counting!)..I was thinking of writing a book on how to survive a trip to the Emergency Room and I thought of you fine people for some honest feedback!

So please, feel free to comment on the following suggestions, and be a brutal as you want......after having a 3 year old throw up on me and a "just turned 21" drunk girl urinate down my leg, I think I can take the criticism.


1) when you come to the er, come with a full bladder.

2) If the doctor tells you that you are having a heart attack, believe him! --- Don't tell him you have a conference call in an hour and to hurry up and fix him so he can make it home for his phone call!

3) please don't come to my ER requesting pain medication (Demerol) and you still have the ID band on from the hospital across town you were just at!!!!

4) when I tell you that lab work takes about 30 minutes to process, don't come and ask me in five minutes if you can go home now!

5) please don't bring in your 16 year old daughter to have a pregnancy test done if she told you that she wants to go on the pill!

6) don't call me on the phone and ask what you should do if you are vomiting blood!!! --- come on in!! -- we are open 24/7!!!

7) when I ask you what your problem is, don't answer me with "how long is this going to take?"

8) I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU REGARDLESS IF YOU HAVE INSURANCE OR NOT!!!

9) Please don't come in and tell me your ill and then refuse to let me take your vital signs or the medications the doctor has ordered! --- IT JUST DON'T WORK THAT WAY!

10) Please, if your child has a temperature and is throwing up, don't refuse the tylenol because I have to give it rectally!! -- Think about it! (That's why the 3 year old threw up on me!) -- mother never heard of giving a tylenol suppository!!


I am done now!!

Responses/comments/complaints?????

You think the book is a good idea??

Later

Uncle Jeffy
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