No. of Recommendations: 28
I pulled one of DW's credit reports to make sure everything was ok and to see if the BT balances had been reported yet (1 of 2 have). I was going to space out pulling her reports until everything was reported correctly and then pull mine with a credit score before applying for new credit.

Everything is ok on hers except for a new SAMS card opened 5/2007 with a $1,300 credit limit and a $220 balance. I called and asked her if she had opened a SAMS card last month. She said no. I tell her that her credit report shows that she opened the account last month. She then comes clean and says she opened it just in case of an emergency. I asked her what the $220 emergency last month was. She went on for a little bit about how she needed a few things, that she is going to keep the balance low (yes, “low” – she did not say “pay-off” each month) and that it would be ok. I said “no, it will not be ok”. A very unpleasant conversation is coming tonight.

I need to calm down and not over-react. But, at the same time I can not just dismiss this as a little bump in the road. Now, how stupid do I look after making countless posts defending her, not making more radical changes in order to not upset her delicate emotional state and making all those excuses for her? I feel so stupid, angry and betrayed.

I do not even know where to start the conversation tonight. The immediate issue is the lying and sabotage. The bigger issue is trust within a marriage and how this is ever going to work if DW is working against me. Should I be surprised to find out she really is just going to enough therapy sessions to make it look like she is putting some effort into getting a job when she really has no intentions? Should I be surprised to find out she has been getting money from her mom on the side? If I am to remain married then is the only option to audit her activity weekly and play detective every month? I had already decided to separate most of our finances on the other side of being debt-free. But, I do not think that solves everything as there will be so many grey area expenses to divide up that it will seem like a divorce process.

Well, comments, suggestions, “I told you so”, or any words of hope?

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