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Author: NoIDAtAll Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 308470  
Subject: Re: Poll: Should Child Support Be Used For Court Date: 2/23/2011 9:27 PM
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Screw the "privilege of raising a child" it's about the RESPONSIBILITY of being a parent.

That's the way it should be, but often not the way it is. I wanted custody of my only daughter, but it wasn't going to happen. I had to work to support my daughter, as best as I could, while her mother let her run unsupervised. The family court judge pretty much decided, "She's a 'fit' parent. She's not working, he is. I'm going to award custody of the child that I didn't bring into the world and whom and whose mother and father I barely know to the mother." That's about as involved as the court system gets, other than to advise me that I had better not miss a child support payment, whether or not my daughters mother complied with allowing me visitation every other weekend and every other holiday. My wife had men running through the house like a revolving door in a department store. My daughter did well in the private school she attended when her mother and I were married. In high school, following the divorce, she ran with a pretty disfunctional crowd, got into illicit hard narcotics, had 3 children by 3 different men, dropped out of high school w/o a diploma, contracted Hepatitis C from a father of one of her children who died from AIDS. The drug addiction got so bad that her children were taken from her, thankfully. Losing her children shocked her into a degree of responsibility, thankfully. She no longer communicates with her mother, not my doing - I know her mom loves her, but she can be pretty hard and cold, when she sets her mind to it, and nobody will prove successful in changing a focus she chooses.

I fully agree, "Screw the "privilege of raising a child" it's about the RESPONSIBILITY of being a parent." But, one doesn't always get to exercise that responsibility. The "family court system" leaves a lot to be desired. My former wife and I get along much better these days - I just wish she would have allowed that much sooner. The child support payments didn't bother me. Her using our daughter to get to me and lack of constructive supervision did.
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