No. of Recommendations: 0
She is being a baby, and needs to be treated like a baby until she stops it. I suggest - knowing full well that this idea will bring down some naysayers - that you proceed as follows:

You: I'll allow you $1000 per month in mad money.

Her: Are you kidding? That's unacceptable. I'll take nothing less than $2000 per month.

You: I'll allow you $900 per month in mad money.

Her: Are you kidding? That's unacceptable. I'll take nothing less than $2000 per month.

You: Each time you say that I'm lowering my offer another hundred. You're now down to $800 per month in mad money. Take it or leave it.

Her: You must be crazy! You're going the wrong way! I absolutely NEED $2000 per month!

You: The offer is now at $700 per month. What say you?

Hopefully, she will be stubborn enough for you to get down to zero dollars per month. Then tell her to try zero for the first month and refuse any further conversation on the matter. For each month she goes without being a baby you'll raise it $100 per month up to the $1000 cap. If during any month she acts like a baby again the following month's allowance will be reduced by $100 (unless already at zero dollars).


I think this is a great conceptual idea but would be awful in practice. One of the problems, as others have identified here, is that I am seen as being controlling and/or parental. I can only see implementing this as exascerbating this perception and think it would only cause more harm than good.

I don't care how much she tries to manipulate you into giver her her way. It is you're JOB to take care of the secure financial future for the both of you, to the best of your ability. You love her, and so you take that job seriously. You will not allow yourself to jeopardize that future, and although it pains your heart to see her unhappy, neither will you allow HER to jeopardize that future. Give her that speech. If it doesn't work... tough. You still enforce the budget.

I agree, but it is also my job to make sure that we have a happy and harmonious household. That is clearly not happening right now and I want to find a middle ground to bring us there.
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